My bologna has a first name…it’s mechanically separated…

Someone dumped an open container of Kraft Turkey Bologna on our driveway this morning. When I picked up the mess I took a look at the ingredients out of curiosity, not being a regular consumer of processed meat. Here’s how the ingredients list started:

“Ingredients: Turkey ingredients (Mechanically separated turkey, turkey), water…”

So what’s the difference between “mechanically separated turkey” and “turkey”? And what exactly is involved in mechanical separation? Why is a food manufacturing process part of the ingredients? Is a process now also an ingredient? If that’s the case, shouldn’t one of the ingredients be “debeaked turkey”?

My mind is reeling.

“Julie! Your bad photos are ready!”

Does anyone really get excited when they get the notice that their race photos are available? I always look horrible in all of mine. I’m fatter than I think I am, I look ungainly (legs either splayed or in a semi-collapsed state, arms akimbo) and, of course, I’m never wearing the look of quiet determination I hope for. Instead, I look like I’m either in extreme pain, in the early stages of food poisoning, or someone has just told me a very bad joke.

Here’s the latest batch of pictoral humiliations. Jesus.