Oh, well

I’m injured again. This seems to be a perpetual cycle. My right Achilles got tweaked on a run a little over a month ago, a new problem on top of plantar fasciitis on the same side. Since then I’ve nearly stopped running altogether. I’ve gone running once in the last three weeks. It was four miles on a treadmill at the gym. It hurt, so I stopped.

So now in addition to not being able to run without pain I’m also rapidly falling out of shape. That’s a vicious circle — the more out of shape I get, the more unpleasant it is to run, and the less I want to run, so the more out of shape I get. The days are shorter now. It’s dark. We also had a hurricane and Nor-easter that totally fucked up our lives for two weeks. I guess I shouldn’t minimize the impact of that event. I was trying to deal with life with no heat, power or connectivity. Running and tending to my Achilles was the last thing on my mind.

I need to start running again, if only because I’m gaining weight. I do belong to a gym and sometimes I think that if I can’t run that I should at least go and do the elliptical just to get back to some semblance of basic aerobic fitness. But I can’t bring myself to do that. I hate the elliptical.

I would like to run the Cherry Tree Relay (a 3-person relay in Brooklyn in March) again in 2013. I am sort of assuming that I’ll be able to train again and at least not be embarrassingly slow. But I don’t know why I’d assume that.

A year ago I was on an upswing after the Fifth Avenue Mile, a payoff for patience and faith after a couple of years of disastrous running. Now I’m injured, out of shape and the owner of a rapidly expanding ass. I’ve also got competing pressures and priorities that are pulling me in other directions, like writing/performing and the need to make a living, among other things.

I feel my age, my body’s lack of resiliency. I wonder if I’ll ever run well again. Where’s the faith?

God, this sucks.

I’m closing comments. Just venting. We’ve all been here before.

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