What’s relay important

A fellow runner pointed out to me recently that it’s pretty easy to win certain marathon relays, at least in the all-women’s category. So I’m thinking it’s time to get a team together and plan for something.

Naturally, the most important aspect of all this is finding the perfect team name. I found this potential source of team names. I love Batwinged Bimbos from Hell, although how can you not love Macho Women Armed to the Teeth or More Excuses to Kill Things? I discovered these while looking up the origin of Renegade Nuns on Wheels (which I’d thought was Monty Python). Score!

Are you listening, TK and Flo?

Adventures in spam filtering

Most of the spam I get on this site is predictable and mundane. But this morning’s batch was entertaining indeed! Before I hit delete, I just have to share one snippet:

“The photo dimensions average pixels and contain about British women.Every episode contains satin linen, so the bottom line of having a blast.A site that this site check out the pictures or large pictures.The just plain models are prettier than seeing a parade of permanently blown-out bungholes inside this site.”

Does this site feature “a parade of permanently blown-out bungholes”? Really? Does the spammer expect me to simply accept that kind of criticism? And what exactly is “satin linen”?

Google search oddities

Yesterday I got a hit from a search on:

“men like girl feet”

I’m really, really tempted to rename my blog to http://menlikegirlfeet.com now.

Google search oddities

I think I’ll make this one into a series. Today someone found my blog by searching on “rapturous legs.”

Oh, if only.

Boring vacation photos: Oregon Coast, Ashland and on to Central Oregon

There’s nothing like a little beautiful scenery to take the edge off one’s post-DNF despair.

After Newport, we skipped down the coast to Coos Bay, where we spent a night in the horrible Red Lion Inn and had a surprisingly good meal at the Blue Heron Bistro. The Blue Heron is the most schizoid place I’ve ever eaten in. While the name evokes, well, a bistro, it is in fact a German restaurant with pizza and seafood thrown in. It also featured what was probably the most valuable collection of WW1 memorabilia I’ve seen assembled in one place outside of a museum. I hope that stuff is insured! I went for the beef stroganoff and Jonathan had der weiner schnitzel. Washed down with an Abbey Brown Ale from Belgium, both were excellent.

That’s about the only good thing I have to say about Coos Bay. The place is a total tip and we couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Sorry, no pictures of Coos Bay. But here are some of the sights along the way.

Seal Rock, near Waldport. Great place for tidepools and kite flying.

Seal Rock, near Waldport. Great place for tidepools and kite flying.

Another shot of the beach at Seal Rock, Waldport.

Another shot of the beach at Seal Rock, Waldport.

Then is was on to Cape Perpetua and the Sea Lion Caves. Lordy, what a ripoff that was. Eleven bucks each to take an elevator down a few hundred feet into a dank cave to gawk at a bunch of stroppy sea lions. At least the views of Heceta Head were good.

Cape Perpetua, near Yachats (yah-HOTS).

Cape Perpetua, near Yachats (yah-HOTS).

Heceta Head lighthouse. Million dollar view? Or $22? You decide.

Heceta Head lighthouse. Million dollar view? Or $22? You decide.

The highlight of the day was Florence, which features sand dunes. Not just any sand dune. Huge fucking sand dunes that are 300 ft. high and go on for miles. It was like something out of … “Dune.”

But first: Here are two of Florence’s fine retail establishments.

"BJ's" isn't just one unfortunate retail naming mistake. It's a chain of franchises!

"BJ's" isn't just one unfortunate retail naming mistake. It's a chain of franchises!

"Dog Style." Are people really this naive?

"Dog Style." Are people really this naive?

Okay, here are the dunes.

It's two miles from the beach to the ocean.

It's two miles from the beach to the ocean.

No. Seriously. It is two miles to the ocean from here. See?

No. Seriously. It is two miles to the ocean from here. See?

That tiny figure is Jonathan. Tinier than usual.

That tiny figure is Jonathan. Tinier than usual.

"You take a picture of me."

"You take a picture of me."

"Now I'll take a picture of you."

"Now I'll take a picture of you."

After our Germanic night in Coos Bay, followed by a fry up at the Pancake Mill, it was on to Ashland. (On the way, I got hollered at by a gas station attendant for attempting to pump my own gas. Just checking!) But not before taking a six hour detour north and east to sample the Umpqua-Rogue scenic byway. And scenic it was. Look!

Along the way to Susan Creek falls

Along the way to Susan Creek Falls

Your hostess. I still look sort of depressed, don't I?

Your hostess. I still look sort of depressed, don't I?

Falls gone wild. Featuring hot "falls on falls" action.

Falls gone wild. Featuring hot "falls on falls" action.

Mt. Bailey, along the Umpqua Highway, Central Oregon

Mt. Bailey, along the Umpqua Highway, Central Oregon

Finally, after nine solid hours of driving and oohing and aahing, we arrived in Ashland. This was one of our self-catering rentals, a lovely little 1BR/1BA craftsman high on a hill and just minutes from a trail leading down to Lithia Park. I did two runs here, both around 5.5 miles, and both very pretty (although hilly and with the added challenge of 1900′ altitude, which my sea level lungs didn’t like).

We spent a few hours with Annie McIntyre, a friend from childhood whom I haven’t seen since high school, which means roughly 25 years. We didn’t know each other that well growing up (although we did play together as very young children, then drifted into different circles after about third grade). But it felt, as Annie put it, very natural to see each other again. Annie and her husband, Jeff, gave us the insider’s view of life in Ashland, both good and bad, as well as an extensive tour of the place.  They also turned us on to Chozu, a bath and tea garden where we wiled away the evening in various saunas and pools, under a beautiful sky and completely mosquito free.

We were too busy to take many photos of Ashland. Here’s the only one.

Backyard vermin in Ashland

Backyard vermin in Ashland

Having properly recovered from our scenic drive opus, is was time for the next leg: Crater Lake. That drive took us through Klamath Falls, which I also took no pictures of. But let me say this: If you ever want to disappear from the face of the earth, go to Klamath Falls. There is nothing there, and the streets are teeming with what we’ve come to call “Oregon guys.” These are men who have cultivated the Unabomber look: scraggly beard, emaciated figure, rags and bad limp. We saw loads of them in Springfield as well, darting across traffic (which might explain the limps). From a distance they look like extras from a zombie film.

I had a great espresso in Klamath Falls. That’s about all I can find to say about the place.

Next post: Crater Lake.

“Julie! Your bad photos are ready!”

Does anyone really get excited when they get the notice that their race photos are available? I always look horrible in all of mine. I’m fatter than I think I am, I look ungainly (legs either splayed or in a semi-collapsed state, arms akimbo) and, of course, I’m never wearing the look of quiet determination I hope for. Instead, I look like I’m either in extreme pain, in the early stages of food poisoning, or someone has just told me a very bad joke.

Here’s the latest batch of pictoral humiliations. Jesus.

LetsRun.com quote of the day

From “just another runner girl” in the tread entitled The REAL reason why Track and Field isn’t more popular:

“The truth is, (at least for distance runners) we compete in a sport where you HAVE to feel your best at the starting line because it just gets exponentially crappier after the gun goes off.”

(Thanks go to Jonathan for spotting this one during his mindless surfings this morning.)

Spring Race Training: Week 13

09spr-training-13

I’m fast approaching the sixth month mark of being on a “2 weeks on, 1 week off” training schedule. This arrangement has worked out remarkably well for me. I’m fresh and peppy for the two hard weeks, but by the time I get to the recovery week I really, really need it.


I had another great week. It’s starting to feel a little creepy. Or foreboding. Or something. Unnatural. I keep waiting for the giant 16 ton Monty Python weight to come crashing down, but it never does.

This week was, like the previous few recovery weeks, marked by insane hunger and terrible insomnia. I have no clue why these issues feature so prominently in what should be a “down” week, but they do. I’d be interested to know if others out in blogland experience these two things during recovery weeks too.

Despite last Sunday’s semi-epic fast finish 22 miler, I felt full of energy on Monday, and my fairly fast recovery pace reflects that.

Tuesday was basically a shortened version of what I did on Sunday — a mid-length general aerobic run with three miles at 6:50 tacked on at the end. This version of the run went a bit better than Sunday’s, as there was less wind to contend with (and seven fewer miles) and I was able to work harder during the last miles. On Sunday, I was just too fatigued to run 6:50 at the end and couldn’t get my legs moving (nor my HR above about 86%). In contrast, on Tuesday I had no trouble meeting (and, in fact, slightly exceeding) the required paces, and the run overall was on the quicker side, averaging 8:14.

Wednesday and Thursday each had two short recovery runs. Unfortunately, the right groin issue (that dates all the way back to late January) has returned, probably as a result of whaling on it Sunday and Tuesday. It’s not bad, though. Just annoying, especially on downhills.

Thursday’s PM run was, as it so often is, the low point of the week. I just felt like shit, especially after attempting strides in the morning. The pace is only as quick as it is (“quick” being a relative term when referring to 10:16 pace) because I wanted to get the run over with.

As usually happens, I recovered overnight and awoke a new woman on Friday morning. Since I seem to run at my best at about 7AM, I hit the track early and pulled another fabulous speed session out of my hat. Despite a steadily increasing wind, I managed to average 3:08s (right on target) for my half mile repeats, doing the second three faster than the first three. I even royally fucked up repeat #3 by pressing the wrong watch buttons. That repeat was somewhat comical, with my hitting “stop” instead of “lap,” then hitting “lap” instead of “start,” then running 200m with the watch off, then stopping and cursing…

Saturday was another down day, with a very high RHR of 56(!) and an exhausted run featuring lots of walking, sitting on benches and stopping to look at ducks.

Today’s run was supposed to be “very easy.” I was instructed to run this in the “low 9:00s,” which I did. Technically. I guess 9:01 average pace is about as low as you can go without running 9:00. I just couldn’t run any slower than this. But since I averaged 71% MHR, I figure that was okay.

This weekend felt like spring for the first time. While I’ve loved the warmer temperatures, the spring flowers and enthusiastic songbirds, the flipside is that everyone comes out on the weekend and clogs the path. I don’t know why morons are so attracted to bike ownership, but the combination of obliviousness and wheeled conveyance makes for some, uh, challenging encounters on the path. That and the dog walkers with 30 ft long leashes (with black cording, no less, so you can’t see them), ready to clothesline the unsuspecting runner.

And today I had my first bonafide smackdown with a male goose. He came charging at me, hissing and tongue-wagging. I couldn’t find a stick in time (my usual defensive move, stick waving). So I threw my arms akimbo, ran straight at the goose and screamed, “Fuck off!” Goose reversed course and scurried away. Unfortunately, there were no witnesses to capture the moment for YouTube posterity.

Coming up in week 14: Another plain vanilla 16 miler on Tuesday, 3 x 1 mile intervals on Friday (whee!) and a reasonably paced 20 miler (8:20ish) on Sunday.

Spring Race Training: Week 12

09spr-training-12

Two months out from race day and things are still going well. This was another high mileage week with three hard workouts as usual, one of them a big, scary track session that loomed large over the past few weeks.

One update before I get to the blow by blow: The foot problem is gone. No pain and no more unsightly bump. Cortisone is an amazing substance indeed. One of my favorite comedians, Patton Oswalt, has referred to alcohol as “pain go bye bye juice,” but I’ve begun to think that term is more aptly applied to cortisone.

Last Sunday was a huge effort and it took its toll on Monday. I felt fine in the morning but as the day wore on I felt progressively tired, culminating in total sleepiness at 5PM, which necessitated a two hour nap.

Tuesday was sort of a crappy day. I had terrible insomnia on Monday due to an upset stomach. The run was slower than I’d wanted and my stomach was still iffy during the run. I wonder if it had anything to do with all the crap I ate on my birthday on Sunday. Ya think?

Even though Wednesday and Thursday were recovery days, they nevertheless featured a lot of miles. I walked a lot in the city on Wednesday (and cut short one run by two miles as a result). I was completely fried by Thursday afternoon, which featured a terribly windy PM run.

Friday was a day of reckoning, featuring a speed workout that I’ve mentioned in at least one previous post. Fortunately, the weather was near perfect — almost no wind, with cool temps and somewhat overcast. I hit the track early in the morning to beat the crowds (and schoolchildren) and had what I can only describe as a dream session.

The first few intervals were slightly slow (1:38-1:40), as I didn’t want to run them too fast. By the fifth, I’d hit my groove and was running most of them at 1:37 or within a second either way. The last four were 2-3 seconds faster each than goal time, something I’d planned to try. I felt so good that I was tempted to do four more (to make it 20), but decided that I’d been assigned 16 for a good reason and not to push things. Heart rate topped out at 90%, which was lower than I’d expected. They didn’t feel easy, but they didn’t feel particularly hard either.

Saturday’s recovery effort was another ass-dragging run, when I had to remind myself that I usually snap back in time for the big run on Sunday. I’d also taken care to eat a lot of carbs during Friday and Saturday and hydrate properly so I’d be fueled up.

This morning I headed out for another big run — a 22 mile long run with three fast miles at the end. It was, as usual, horrendously windy. The wind was primarily coming from the N-NW, at a steady clip of 15-20mph. I drove to the halfway point and ran the first six south, so I’d at least have the wind at my back for the early miles. Then I turned around and spent the next 11 miles running straight into a headwind. At Valhalla Dam I turned around and found that the wind had turned to a swirling, shifting wind. It was at my back for much of the time, a side- or headwind at others.

I managed just over 7:00 pace for three miles. My watch goes completely wacky in the wind (explain that one to me — it’s a GPS watch, not a windsock), so I had no idea how fast I was running. Sometimes it would say 8:20, others 5:40. And everything inbetween.

I did my best, doing my three miles in 21:04 (34 seconds off pace). I ran a half mile easy and then decided to tack on another fast half mile to justify the beer I’d planned to have later on. I managed that in 3:30. In all, I’m pretty happy with the run today, even if it wasn’t quite the pace I wanted. 22 miles at any pace is only going to help. I averaged 8:21, which is not bad in windy conditions. As a side note, I  hit the 22 mile mark in 3:04. According to Pete Pfitzinger, this is a pretty good indicator of one’s achievable marathon time.

I’ve received the remaining weeks (plus taper) of my training plan for the Newport race. There are four more weeks of quality running to go, followed by a fairly radical cutdown in both mileage and intensity during the taper weeks. Next week, a recovery week, features another cut at longish run plus 3 miles in 20:30 at the end (Tuesday), some fast 800s on the track, and a mere 16 miles on Sunday with nothing special.

Kara sighting last night!

Fooled ya! I didn’t actually see Kara Goucher. Instead, I had yet another in my ongoing series of Kara Goucher dreams. The worst came several months ago, when I dreamt that I was lined up on a track, getting ready to race, and Kara Goucher was crouching to my right, so close that I could see her forehead vein palpitating.

Last night’s encounter had a totally different setting. I was on the set of one of those vapid morning talk programs, and they were featuring as guests some 2008 Olympians doing little demonstrations: Jenn Stuczynski was pole-vaulting awkwardly in the cramped studio space. Kara was forced to run in place.

Then it was time for the pitch. Jenn and Kara were led over to a table on which sat a plate of ghastly looking processed meat products. Kara surreptitiously flipped one of them over to hide the label. But that didn’t get past our blonde, helmet-headed host. She made an exaggerated frowny face, chided Kara for not being a sport, and flipped the package back over for a proper product placement. Kara looked both angry and despairing. Jenn fiddled with her shorts and looked away.

Then, in a fit of petulance, Kara sent the entire contents of the table crashing to the floor and stomped away.

It was awesome.