Bad luck always comes in threes

This has been quite the eventful week. My mom and her lovely partner, Jan, are visiting us for a few days — something I’ve been looking forward to for many weeks. The visit got off to a very iffy start, though: They were scheduled to arrive at JFK at around 8PM on Wednesday evening. Extensive mechanical problems in Pheonix (and JetBlue’s lack of an effective Plan B) resulted in a huge delay. Huge. Jonathan and I tag-teamed, with him manning the phones Wed. night while I slept, and me getting up at around 3:30AM Thursday morning to go pick them up.

I got them home and they promptly went off to bed to try to sleep for a few hours. I, however, was wide awake. So I had breakfast and figured we’d use the day for shopping and recuperating from the night’s travails. And we did have a good day of shopping, a nice dinner at home and copious amounts of wine.

Cut to 10:30PM. We’re settled into our little beds — or so I thought — but I hear Jan calling my name from the hallway. I think, oh, they need to know where the glasses are or something. Instead, it seems that my mother has discovered one of our broken — and dangerous — double-hung windows. One of the windows that acts like a guillotine when you try to open it. Top half of window has slammed down on the second finger of her left hand and crushed the nail. She is feeling faint and freaked out. And I am feeling like the worst daughter in the world.

The three of us head over to the closest emergency room, where we wait. And wait. And wait. What’s the deal? This is Bronxville, for God’s sake — one of the richest square miles in America. Well, here’s a tip: while Lawrence Hospital has great inpatient care, their emergency room is staffed with exactly one physician. There are other, better emergency rooms in the area. More on that in a moment.

She’s finally seen to. I wasn’t allowed to stay, but I know whatever they did to her involved a boatload of novocaine, plus sharp knives, stitches and three pounds of gauze. At around 2AM, she’s released and we’re walking through the parking lot, joking about what could possibly happen next to complete the triad of bad luck events.

It didn’t take long to find out.

We arrive home. Jonathan is still awake, but bleary-eyed given his lack of sleep the night before. I am approaching the 22 hour mark of having no sleep, having had around 4.5 hours prior to that. Mom and Jan head off to bed and I head off to the bathroom and steal one of Jonathan’s 3mg Lunesta pills. I head back into the bedroom, ready to try again for sleep and…and…where is Jonathan? Ah, of course, he’s gone downstairs to use the half bath.

And at the moment this explanation enters my mind I hear a very loud crash and thump downstairs. I call out to him and there’s no answer. I am overcome with a sinking feeling. I run down the stairs, at the foot of which is our cat, looking quite stricken, and round the corner to find Jonathan face down on the floor, unconscious. He has passed out cold.

I shake him and he comes to in about 10 seconds, but he’s somewhat confused and — very unlike him — babbling. We later figured out that the door broke his fall (and was responsible for the loud bang, which I’d originally thought was his head hitting the floor). Miraculously, aside from a cut on his cheek, he’s not injured himself. Even his glasses are still intact.

Fortunately for me, Jan is an MD (and very calm in a crisis!). While she tends to him and checks his vitals, I call 911 and request an ambulance. The fireman first responders are on the scene within about two minutes, followed about a minute later by the EMTs and ambulance. I am done freaking out, as Jonathan is lucid, able to answer basic questions, and not in any pain or other distress. So: no stroke, no heart attack and (I hope) no concussion.

The ambulance takes him to our second emergency room of the night, St. John’s Riverside on the Hudson. Folks, this is the place to take people in the middle of the night. The place is well-staffed and they were all over him pretty quickly (although, to be fair, I’m sure that passing out cold when one has no history of doing so is seen as potentially more serious than a smashed finger).

He saw a doctor fairly quickly (45 minuntes?), who decided to admit him in order to do a CT scan, EKG and numerous other tests to rule out anything serious. We left at around 5:30AM just as they were preparing to check him in. During these hours I discovered that it’s possible to resist the effects of a sleeping pill, but it’s not easy. I also learned why sleep deprivation is such an effective torture technique. Combine just 24 hours of no sleep with some high-stress stimuli and you can make someone who is normally pretty even-keeled fall apart quite easily. Which I did. For about 10 minutes after we got home. Then I collapsed into bed for three hours of sleep.

I spent most of Friday at the hospital keeping Jonathan company through various new test procedures, as well as napping on a waiting room couch in the deepest sleep I’ve ever experienced in a public place. Finally, finally, he was released at 5PM, with a more or less clean bill of health (but no explanation for the fainting episode; just one of those wacky things…).

Friday night featured pizza, lots of wine again and — at last — lots and lots of sleep for everyone.

We salvaged the trip for the two days we had left, spending Saturday at Storm King Art Center in Rockland (a perfect day to go there) plus a little drive further West into the Delaware Water Gap for more leaf peeping. Then dinner at a local Thai place. And today was spent driving up the Taconic to Beacon for lunch and a trip to Dia Beacon. Unfortunately, we got to Dia at 3:30 and the place closes at 4:00 on Sundays. But that was fine. Because at this point any trip that does not involve an ambulance as a means of conveyance or a hospital emergency room as the destination is a good one.

Bad luck always comes in threes. Believe it. But I am very lucky to have such a great family. Even if they are a little accident prone.

3…2…1…

The start is nigh.

At least for now, the stars are aligning in my favor. The weather report is near-perfect (although I’d prefer overcast to full sun, but whatever): cool, dry and with a 1-3mph wind tops. I had a great night’s sleep last night thanks to Lunesta. I am carboloading and drinking water to beat the band and have gained 2 lbs. — bad for my ego, but an excellent sign of good hydration and glycogen storage. I have no aches, pains or other niggles. And, despite lots of exposure to public places (and, hence, germs) in the past two weeks, I have made it to marathon weekend without having caught a cold or other bug.

I’ll go out for a little 2-3 mile run in a few minutes. Then I pack up my running gear and pre- and post-race food and libations. I was buying post-race treats at Trader Joe’s yesterday and the woman at the register said, “Are you having company this weekend?” I lied: “Yes! How did you ever guess?” It seemed freakish to say, “No, I’m running a marathon on Sunday, after which I plan to lie on a bed in a hotel room Scranton, Pennsylvania, consuming all this food along with lots of wine, ideally while watching a mindless three hour Lifetime movie starring Melissa Gilbert, Cheryl Ladd or Meredith Baxter-Birney.”

I have so much to do. So I’d better get to it.

We’re going to try to drive the course so I can see what I’m in for. If I’m not in a state of catatonic shock as a result, I’ll post again pre-race.

I ♥ WordPress

Because its “stats” are so informative.

For example, someone arrived at my blog today via the search term “running black panties.”

You know who you are.

I have something in common with Sarah Palin

Besides being 43 and having breasts.

Like me, she can run a sub-4:00 hour marathon.

Read it and, perhaps, weep.

The hay is in the barn.

Today was my last big training run: a 22 miler with 9(ish) miles in the middle run not quite at (desired) marathon pace; more like as fast as I could muster. Which means 15-25 seconds slower than (desired) marathon pace. I am now questioning my fitness to run my (desired) marathon pace in three weeks, considering I’ve barely run more than a few miles in any given training run at it.

Was it the dreadful summer heat and humidity? Not enough recovery? Failure to adapt to training enough to reach my desired level of fitness? All of the above? What speed I can reliably hold over 26.2 miles is anyone’s guess right now. And I don’t like that.

Perhaps I will undergo a miraculous regeneration in the coming few weeks and, with (I hope) cooler temperatures, I’ll pull a rabbit out of my hat (or shorts) on race day. But a part of me is thinking I need to readjust my plans and expectations. What I do know is that the first 10 miles of a marathon should feel ridiculously easy and slow. So I think my entire strategy is going to be built around that maxim: Find a pace in the first few miles that seems absurdly easy and stick with it through the halfway point. Then start turning up the heat and engaging in my favorite marathon game of chance: “Guess When Julie Will Blow Up!”

The weather was astonishing this morning. Perfect. It was in the low sixties and dry. It was, as always, very windy (both coming and going). But I felt good until around mile 18 when I started to bonk. But, with only four miles to go (and a Powerbar in the car), I was fine.

I parked the car at Hartsdale Station and ran down to Bronxville with an 8 mile warmup at easy pace. Then I turned on the jets (cough cough) on the way back and ran all the way up to the Kensico Dam in Valhalla. Availed myself of the Ladies Room, sat on a bench inwardly whining for awhile, and then hit the road again for the last 5.5 miles.

There was not one but two huge training groups out there. I think one was a Team in Training group, since about a quarter of them had their distinctive purple TNT singlets on. There must have been 30 people, judging by the collection of bags they left in the park in Hartsdale. The other group was operating out of a van in the North White Plains train station parking lot. They were all so young, fresh and enthusiastic. Not at all like me! I wonder if they’re training for the New York marathon. It was nice to share the path with so many friendly runners today.

I did my big run today because tomorrow we drive up to Connecticut for what my uncle’s wife, Diane, is calling The World’s Smallest Family Reunion, and I’d like to be able to display something resembling a lively personality (which is out of the question after a hard 22 miler). I’m meeting one of my two second cousins, (father’s side), Ann (and her husband, Greg) for the first time in probably around 35 years. My dad and his wife, and my uncle and his are also coming. Except for going to Iowa in the spring for my grandmother’s demise, followed by her funeral, I’ve not traveled at all this year. And I don’t exactly count those two trips as “vacations.” So, even though it’s just two nights away, I booked us a tony suite in a B&B. I have extensive family history, good food and wine, and the possibility of getting to help cook in a real restaurant kitchen on Monday evening to look forward to. And, I’m certain, a lot of great conversation and company.

Nice legs

I needed to do a six miler last evening. I usually construct this run with a four mile loop up to Scarsdale followed by a two mile loop down to Bronxville. But the weather was so horrible yesterday that I couldn’t handle the idea of having to run beyond my starting point down to Bronxville. So I ran a bit farther north and turned right on Harney Road, figuring if I ran up to White Plains Road, I’d probably go around 3 miles (to turn around and make it a six miler).

Running through a commercial area had its benefits, as it turns out. I ran by lots of store windows, some positioned at clever angles. And, damn, my legs are starting to look really good. They are no longer shapeless blobs of bouncing flesh. There’s still a fair amount of bouncing activity in the inner thigh region. But I have real muscles now, and I can actually see how my knees are put together.

Running 90-100 miles per week seems to be the ticket for fat loss. It’s going to be a shame to cover these puppies up with tights soon.

You are. Like. A hurricane.

Hurricane Hanna is blowing through at the moment. Packing (don’t you love how they always say “packing”? Like she’s going to shoot someone?)…packing 50mph winds, thunderstorms and heavy rain.

Once again, I have managed to schedule a key race on a day when the weather will be uncooperative, to say the least. The forecast at race time (8:30AM) is for 72 degrees, 61 degree dew point (okay, not that bad when compared to this morning’s 74 degree dew point, when the whole world felt like the inside of an EasyBake oven) and 10mph winds. The good news? No rain. The bad news? The wind direction will mean an unfortunate headwind during a long uphill stretch.

But I’m used to running uphill and straight into stiff headwinds! And everyone else will have the same stupid wind blowing in their faces. So, dagnabbit, I’m determined to run my best and have a good time.

Race report to come.

It’s yellowjacket season

I got stung four times by a yellowjacket on Wednesday morning. The thing got me on the arm, then proceeded to fly into the sleeve opening of my shirt to then sting me in two other places on my side. And one final sting on my hand as I reached in to the grab the bastard, throw it on the ground and stomp on it.

I’m sure it made for an entertaining sight, with my flailing around and engaging in a loud, frantic soliloquy in florid NC-17 language. In the 48 hours since, I’ve been treated to a wandering backache, a blocked sinus, and edema in my feet and lower legs.

Have I mentioned before how much I hate summer in New York? No yellowjackets in winter; just attack dogs.

Fall Training: Week 13

A little late in coming, but it was quite a week last week and I’ve been sleeping when I haven’t been working (or propped glassy-eyed in front of the Olympics).

I had big miles again last week and three hard workouts: 99.4 miles with a tempo session on the track, a midweek long run and a big 24 miler in Central Park.

A look back at the week:

  • Monday: 6.1 miles recovery pace (AM); 6 miles recovery pace (PM)
  • Tuesday: 6.8 tempo run (AM); 4.1 miles recovery pace (PM)
  • Wednesday: 14.3 long run (steady pace) (AM); 4.8 miles recovery pace (PM)
  • Thursday: 6.3 miles recovery pace (AM); 4.5 miles recovery pace (PM)
  • Friday: 6.1 miles recovery pace (AM); 5 miles recovery pace (PM)
  • Saturday: 6.4 miles recovery pace (AM); 5 miles recovery pace (PM)
  • Sunday: 24 mile long run (various paces) (AM)

Total mileage: 99.4 miles

Paces this week:

  • Recovery: 9:30 – 10:40
  • Tempo: 6:33 – 7:20
  • Marathon pace: Pffft!
  • Long: 7:40 – 8:30

The weather was somewhat better on a few mornings, but most days it was hot again. Too hot to hold desired paces. Again. If I hadn’t done some successful marathon pace running last week during a rare cool and dry morning, my confidence would be completely shot at this point.

Tuesday’s tempo run was an experiment with something I found called Frank’s Killer Tempo Run: 25 laps around a track, alternating between marathon and 5K race pace. I’m not sure how many runners’ deaths Frank is responsible for, but this workout nearly killed me. In fact, it was impossible to run at my (projected) 5K race pace of 6:30 for most of those quicker intervals. The usual problems: heat, humidity, blazing sun, and 8-10mph winds. *sigh*

Still, it was a good workout and I’m sure it did me some good because it basically wrecked me for the rest of the week. I’ll do it again, but next time I’ll run the faster loops at 10K race pace, which is closer to what I was able to do anyway.

Wednesday’s 14+ miler went very well. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about myself, it’s that I can sometimes do good back-to-back days, with the fatigue delayed until after that second hard day. I usually feel great (and run well) after the first hard day, in fact.

But I do pay for it during the latter part of the week. I gave myself three days to recover and get ready for the longest run of this training cycle, a 24 miler. Because I hate myself, I decided to do this one in Central Park. I had planned to do 10 at marathon pace, but, alas, the tireness after banging away at close to 100 miles for three weeks — combined with the relentless hills, heat and humidity — meant that marathon pace running was not to be.

I did manage about 6 miles at marathon effort (although not marathon pace), which I was fine with. Hey, doing the other 18 miles at 8:30 pace is nothing to sneeze at, considering. So I made peace with my legs and with myself and looked forward to this week’s recovery period of low mileage and low intensity.

We went out to dinner Sunday evening (for the great caloric blowout a 24 miler calls for) at a newish place in Tuckahoe, The Tap House. Nice place, but unfortunately the food was mediocre. With the exception of Sammy’s Downtown in Bronxville (where we had a very nice dinner on Christmas Eve), the restaurant pickings up here have been slim. I always end up wondering afterwards why I bothered going out when I can cook great stuff myself at home. They do have some interesting beers there, though.

Next week begins the month long “peak” period, otherwise known as Julie’s Odyssey of Pain and Exhaustion. Four weeks of high mileage, high intensity work with lots of marathon-specific running. Including a 10 mile tuneup race* (pray for cool weather). So I want to make damned sure I’m recovered going in. I’ll be running somewhere in the neighborhood of 55 miles this week, perhaps less if I’m still feeling tired as the week progresses.

Coming up in Fall Training Week 14: Two full days off on Monday and Tuesday. Then recovery running all the way through Saturday, topped with a leisurely paced 14 miler on Sunday.

* This is the best race ever, as far as I’m concerned. The post-race party features fresh ravioli, ice cream — plus beer poured from a spigot attached to the side of a van. Now there’s a reason to run 10 miles fast!

Inspiration on the running path

Actually, more hilarious than inspiring.

During yesterday’s evening run, I saw a squirrel dragging a 10″ long Italian hero loaf across the path; an amazing score from the tourist information center along the Bronx River Parkway (which was just nearby), or perhaps something that was thrown from a passing car.

The squirrel panicked when it saw me, assuming I was going to swoop in and grab its treasure. So I stopped and watched. Squirrel dragged the loaf, like a canoe, over the path and into the grass and safety of trees. I wonder what the squirrel will do with it.

We’re heading into the city for a 20 mile training run in Central Park. It doesn’t seem that bad out right now. But that will change. At least it’s not raining.