Hey Nineteen

Jonathan and I have been en pièce jointe for 19 years today. Being nontraditional (and unmarried), we don’t celebrate our anniversary with anything more than a passing acknowledgment that the 17th of December has some meaning, whereas the 16th and the 18th do not.

The title of this post references one of my favorite Steely Dan songs. Although our age difference doesn’t approach the one in that story, it’s there: a little over eight years between us (also, I know who Aretha Franklin is). It didn’t mean a lot to me when I was in my mid-twenties and he in his early thirties (and — clang! — recently divorced! — clang!), and it means even less today. All I knew was that he was attractive, funny and kind. I couldn’t say the same for the person with whom I was living at the time. And smart, very smart.

Eventually we made our way to each other. It was good to be in a relationship that was easy, not filled with drama, conflict and the constant implication that I was doing something wrong. Fuck that. I wanted someone I could play Nintendo with until 3AM, then get up and go for a walk with before breakfast. Or sit on the couch and talk. Or not talk. This guy was perfect.

Through the years, together we’ve gone places, been broke, learned to drive, spent money on items large and small, gotten sick, lost people and pets, had fun, been disappointed, and everything else that should happen over a couple of decades in any life. Nineteen years seems like a long time. But it’s flown.

12 Responses

  1. When I met my wife, after a few dates, one particularly nice Saturday afternoon we were in my NYC apartment and I started to think of all the things we were going to do that day. Lunch at the boat basin, stroll in central park, dinner in the village etc, and then a funny thing happened. We sat down on the coach and started watching TV. Some half-decent movie from 5 years prior. Five minutes into it I was feeling really guilty, wondering how long it would be before she demanded to head out. It never came. We chilled out, watched some more TV, ordered in, and fell asleep early. It was like vacation. Here’s to sitting on your ass with the one you love!

  2. A lovely post and celebration of a happy milestone. I’m in a similar situation, about 10 years older than my wife. To her, the songs of my early- to mid-20s are the songs of her (gasp!) middle school years. It’s funny and depressing at the same time. When she hears “London Calling,” she things of the Jaguar commercial. It’s like Billy Crystal used to joke about his kids: “You mean Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings?”

    • Heh. My sig other and I have had similar experiences (he’s 7 years older than I).

      We were discussing the Cabbage Patch Kid doll phenomenon from the 80s. He mentioned how he had been working at a local department store as a high school senior, dealing with annoying mothers who just had to get one for their little darling.

      I took the opportunity to remind him that I had been a fourth-grader at the time, and wanted one of those dolls more than anything in the world (not because I liked dolls, but because everyone else had one).

      He gave me a dirty look for the reference.:)

  3. Congrats and a nice and happy time whit your friend!.
    Up to more 19 years.

  4. Congratulations to you both! What a wonderful post. Enjoying each other for 19 solid years…fantastic.

  5. Hooray! Congrats.

  6. Nice. Happy anniversary. May there be many more.

  7. All I can say is wow. Congrats! Maybe you will get a dinner date at 20. 🙂

  8. There’s something Einsteinian about it. When we were together for 20 years it seemed like 15. Now at 30 (26+ legal) it seems like 10. It’d seem like 9 if she ran, but I can’t have everything.


  9. You did well Julie — as did Jonathan. Great post. Here’s to the next nineteen!

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