Boring vacation photos: Oregon Coast, Ashland and on to Central Oregon

There’s nothing like a little beautiful scenery to take the edge off one’s post-DNF despair.

After Newport, we skipped down the coast to Coos Bay, where we spent a night in the horrible Red Lion Inn and had a surprisingly good meal at the Blue Heron Bistro. The Blue Heron is the most schizoid place I’ve ever eaten in. While the name evokes, well, a bistro, it is in fact a German restaurant with pizza and seafood thrown in. It also featured what was probably the most valuable collection of WW1 memorabilia I’ve seen assembled in one place outside of a museum. I hope that stuff is insured! I went for the beef stroganoff and Jonathan had der weiner schnitzel. Washed down with an Abbey Brown Ale from Belgium, both were excellent.

That’s about the only good thing I have to say about Coos Bay. The place is a total tip and we couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Sorry, no pictures of Coos Bay. But here are some of the sights along the way.

Seal Rock, near Waldport. Great place for tidepools and kite flying.

Seal Rock, near Waldport. Great place for tidepools and kite flying.

Another shot of the beach at Seal Rock, Waldport.

Another shot of the beach at Seal Rock, Waldport.

Then is was on to Cape Perpetua and the Sea Lion Caves. Lordy, what a ripoff that was. Eleven bucks each to take an elevator down a few hundred feet into a dank cave to gawk at a bunch of stroppy sea lions. At least the views of Heceta Head were good.

Cape Perpetua, near Yachats (yah-HOTS).

Cape Perpetua, near Yachats (yah-HOTS).

Heceta Head lighthouse. Million dollar view? Or $22? You decide.

Heceta Head lighthouse. Million dollar view? Or $22? You decide.

The highlight of the day was Florence, which features sand dunes. Not just any sand dune. Huge fucking sand dunes that are 300 ft. high and go on for miles. It was like something out of … “Dune.”

But first: Here are two of Florence’s fine retail establishments.

"BJ's" isn't just one unfortunate retail naming mistake. It's a chain of franchises!

"BJ's" isn't just one unfortunate retail naming mistake. It's a chain of franchises!

"Dog Style." Are people really this naive?

"Dog Style." Are people really this naive?

Okay, here are the dunes.

It's two miles from the beach to the ocean.

It's two miles from the beach to the ocean.

No. Seriously. It is two miles to the ocean from here. See?

No. Seriously. It is two miles to the ocean from here. See?

That tiny figure is Jonathan. Tinier than usual.

That tiny figure is Jonathan. Tinier than usual.

"You take a picture of me."

"You take a picture of me."

"Now I'll take a picture of you."

"Now I'll take a picture of you."

After our Germanic night in Coos Bay, followed by a fry up at the Pancake Mill, it was on to Ashland. (On the way, I got hollered at by a gas station attendant for attempting to pump my own gas. Just checking!) But not before taking a six hour detour north and east to sample the Umpqua-Rogue scenic byway. And scenic it was. Look!

Along the way to Susan Creek falls

Along the way to Susan Creek Falls

Your hostess. I still look sort of depressed, don't I?

Your hostess. I still look sort of depressed, don't I?

Falls gone wild. Featuring hot "falls on falls" action.

Falls gone wild. Featuring hot "falls on falls" action.

Mt. Bailey, along the Umpqua Highway, Central Oregon

Mt. Bailey, along the Umpqua Highway, Central Oregon

Finally, after nine solid hours of driving and oohing and aahing, we arrived in Ashland. This was one of our self-catering rentals, a lovely little 1BR/1BA craftsman high on a hill and just minutes from a trail leading down to Lithia Park. I did two runs here, both around 5.5 miles, and both very pretty (although hilly and with the added challenge of 1900′ altitude, which my sea level lungs didn’t like).

We spent a few hours with Annie McIntyre, a friend from childhood whom I haven’t seen since high school, which means roughly 25 years. We didn’t know each other that well growing up (although we did play together as very young children, then drifted into different circles after about third grade). But it felt, as Annie put it, very natural to see each other again. Annie and her husband, Jeff, gave us the insider’s view of life in Ashland, both good and bad, as well as an extensive tour of the place.  They also turned us on to Chozu, a bath and tea garden where we wiled away the evening in various saunas and pools, under a beautiful sky and completely mosquito free.

We were too busy to take many photos of Ashland. Here’s the only one.

Backyard vermin in Ashland

Backyard vermin in Ashland

Having properly recovered from our scenic drive opus, is was time for the next leg: Crater Lake. That drive took us through Klamath Falls, which I also took no pictures of. But let me say this: If you ever want to disappear from the face of the earth, go to Klamath Falls. There is nothing there, and the streets are teeming with what we’ve come to call “Oregon guys.” These are men who have cultivated the Unabomber look: scraggly beard, emaciated figure, rags and bad limp. We saw loads of them in Springfield as well, darting across traffic (which might explain the limps). From a distance they look like extras from a zombie film.

I had a great espresso in Klamath Falls. That’s about all I can find to say about the place.

Next post: Crater Lake.

Dear Crazy Costco Bitch: The Movie

Dear Crazy Costco Bitch,

I know it’s sometimes frustrating to go to Costco and discover that there are other people there who want to buy things at the same time that you want to buy things. That’s why I usually go midweek, sometime in the afternoon after school has let out yet before people get off of work. I’m usually delighted by the short lines at those times. And today was no different.

Apparently you held a different opinion. You’d filled your cart to the brim with delicious, supersized goods. It must have weighed at least 200 lbs. Yet your steel cornucopia’s challenging density didn’t deter you from flitting from line to line, certain that you could outwit the time/space continuum. It seems that at some point you settled on my line and, shoving your cart in front of a woman who was clearly already behind me, you declared, “I’m behind her!”

Had I been the victim of your cart-bullying, I would have spoken up. But, perhaps seeing abdication as being the better part of valor, my former linemate chose to let you have your way and moved to another line. So there we were, waiting for the person ahead of us (yes, just one customer) to finish his transaction. But things weren’t moving fast enough for you. No, you just had to share your management and logistics expertise by bellowing, “Too much talking! Not enough working!” and “Come on! I want to get out of here!”

To accommodate you, two Costco employees proceeded to open up the closed register next to us. At which point you moved your cart over and began to place items on the conveyor belt. But things still weren’t moving fast enough for you. When you were told it would take a minute or two to set things up, you escalated your fit, throwing items across the aisle onto the empty conveyor belt behind my items. Again, you made your wishes clear. “I want to get out of here!”

Lady, we wanted you to get out of there too.

A few moments passed, during which I began my transaction, eager to get away from you as quickly as possible. But then you decided to talk to me. Fortunately, you didn’t screech at me. Instead, the true depths of your madness emerged. In a scene right out of Sybil, Tantrum Woman was gone and instead I had a new best girlfriend! “Hey,” you fairly moaned, “Those strawberries look awesome.”

Let’s get something straight here. I am not your friend. And, setting aside for the moment that I loathe anyone over the age of 16 who uses the word “awesome” without irony, I am in fact mad at you for several reasons. First, you have just made every middle aged, middle class white woman in the world look like a clueless, entitled, whiny, hateful prima donna. Thanks a lot. Second, and more important, you’ve just spent five minutes verbally abusing people who are trying to help you and who are still being nice to you. That’s why I turned around and said, “You see these people here? They are human beings. Why don’t you try treating them as such?”

Okay, I didn’t really do that. I was just having one of my Walter Mitty moments and couldn’t actually bring myself to confront an odious dragon lady such as yourself. Maybe one day I’ll have the balls to do such a thing. I like to hope so.

Instead, I asked the cashier if she had to take happy pills to do this job. Then I told her about the one stint I had in a job “serving the public” and how I lasted all of a month in it. Do you know why I was talking to her? Just to piss you off!

Maybe you saw us laughing. Did you wonder what we were laughing about? We were laughing at you!

I know it’s hard to change. You probably won’t. That’s why one day I hope you have to work a retail job, or some other job dealing with the public, so you can spend your days navigating an endless series of abusive, five minute long relationships with people just like you.

Sincerely,

Races Like a Girl

P.S. Are you the same crazy bitch who nearly ran me over on Pipeline Road this morning when I was out for my run?

My bologna has a first name…it’s mechanically separated…

Someone dumped an open container of Kraft Turkey Bologna on our driveway this morning. When I picked up the mess I took a look at the ingredients out of curiosity, not being a regular consumer of processed meat. Here’s how the ingredients list started:

“Ingredients: Turkey ingredients (Mechanically separated turkey, turkey), water…”

So what’s the difference between “mechanically separated turkey” and “turkey”? And what exactly is involved in mechanical separation? Why is a food manufacturing process part of the ingredients? Is a process now also an ingredient? If that’s the case, shouldn’t one of the ingredients be “debeaked turkey”?

My mind is reeling.

NY Running Bloggers Happy Hour

On May 14, we’re making another attempt at a face to face for NY area runners who blog. Or bloggers who run, if you prefer. Learn more here!

Spring Race Training: Week 13

09spr-training-13

I’m fast approaching the sixth month mark of being on a “2 weeks on, 1 week off” training schedule. This arrangement has worked out remarkably well for me. I’m fresh and peppy for the two hard weeks, but by the time I get to the recovery week I really, really need it.


I had another great week. It’s starting to feel a little creepy. Or foreboding. Or something. Unnatural. I keep waiting for the giant 16 ton Monty Python weight to come crashing down, but it never does.

This week was, like the previous few recovery weeks, marked by insane hunger and terrible insomnia. I have no clue why these issues feature so prominently in what should be a “down” week, but they do. I’d be interested to know if others out in blogland experience these two things during recovery weeks too.

Despite last Sunday’s semi-epic fast finish 22 miler, I felt full of energy on Monday, and my fairly fast recovery pace reflects that.

Tuesday was basically a shortened version of what I did on Sunday — a mid-length general aerobic run with three miles at 6:50 tacked on at the end. This version of the run went a bit better than Sunday’s, as there was less wind to contend with (and seven fewer miles) and I was able to work harder during the last miles. On Sunday, I was just too fatigued to run 6:50 at the end and couldn’t get my legs moving (nor my HR above about 86%). In contrast, on Tuesday I had no trouble meeting (and, in fact, slightly exceeding) the required paces, and the run overall was on the quicker side, averaging 8:14.

Wednesday and Thursday each had two short recovery runs. Unfortunately, the right groin issue (that dates all the way back to late January) has returned, probably as a result of whaling on it Sunday and Tuesday. It’s not bad, though. Just annoying, especially on downhills.

Thursday’s PM run was, as it so often is, the low point of the week. I just felt like shit, especially after attempting strides in the morning. The pace is only as quick as it is (“quick” being a relative term when referring to 10:16 pace) because I wanted to get the run over with.

As usually happens, I recovered overnight and awoke a new woman on Friday morning. Since I seem to run at my best at about 7AM, I hit the track early and pulled another fabulous speed session out of my hat. Despite a steadily increasing wind, I managed to average 3:08s (right on target) for my half mile repeats, doing the second three faster than the first three. I even royally fucked up repeat #3 by pressing the wrong watch buttons. That repeat was somewhat comical, with my hitting “stop” instead of “lap,” then hitting “lap” instead of “start,” then running 200m with the watch off, then stopping and cursing…

Saturday was another down day, with a very high RHR of 56(!) and an exhausted run featuring lots of walking, sitting on benches and stopping to look at ducks.

Today’s run was supposed to be “very easy.” I was instructed to run this in the “low 9:00s,” which I did. Technically. I guess 9:01 average pace is about as low as you can go without running 9:00. I just couldn’t run any slower than this. But since I averaged 71% MHR, I figure that was okay.

This weekend felt like spring for the first time. While I’ve loved the warmer temperatures, the spring flowers and enthusiastic songbirds, the flipside is that everyone comes out on the weekend and clogs the path. I don’t know why morons are so attracted to bike ownership, but the combination of obliviousness and wheeled conveyance makes for some, uh, challenging encounters on the path. That and the dog walkers with 30 ft long leashes (with black cording, no less, so you can’t see them), ready to clothesline the unsuspecting runner.

And today I had my first bonafide smackdown with a male goose. He came charging at me, hissing and tongue-wagging. I couldn’t find a stick in time (my usual defensive move, stick waving). So I threw my arms akimbo, ran straight at the goose and screamed, “Fuck off!” Goose reversed course and scurried away. Unfortunately, there were no witnesses to capture the moment for YouTube posterity.

Coming up in week 14: Another plain vanilla 16 miler on Tuesday, 3 x 1 mile intervals on Friday (whee!) and a reasonably paced 20 miler (8:20ish) on Sunday.

Rinus Runs Rotterdam!

Rinus is a Dutch blogger who is a regular reader and commenter of this blog. He is also a prodigious marathoner, having completed 19 (with a PB just a shade over 3:30). He races other distances frequently too. I’ve begun to think of him as the Dutch Frank Colella. Not just because he races so often, but also because he’s a serial documenter of his races, which all have an important social component as well. In any race post, I can usually count on seeing lots of pictures of Rinus and Frank and friends.

Rinus has a Google translation tool on his blog, which enables me to understand about 25% percent of each post. In a way, reading his posts is like some sort of weird sensory deprivation experience. I get pieces of the story through words, along with more visceral elements through pictures and video, and a rough (yet still somewhat mysterious) narrative emerges.

His videos — some of them taken while actually running the race — are great fun to watch. I just wish I knew what the hell he was saying in them.

In this latest chronicling of his exploits, Rinus helps a few fellow runners attempt a 4:15 race at Rotterdam. They almost made it — it looks like the sun and heat may have caught them by surprise, though.

44

On the eve of my 44th birthday, I’m doing what I always do: thinking about dead people. Sure it’s morbid, but it’s the position from which I am most able to experience happiness that I’m alive. Or at least not dead.

I’m not death-obsessed in the Woody Allenesque sense. I used to be a hypochondriac and anticipate eventual diagnoses of fatal diseases. Don’t ask me where that came from, as it was an affliction I had since adolescence. It went away a few years ago, along with a bunch of other neurotic symptoms — a cessation that I almost wholly credit to consistent, hard running. This stuff alters your brain chemistry, there’s no doubt about that.

I’m actually in a very good mood this evening. That and thinking about death are not necessarily incompatible.

Anyway, here, in no particular order, are some people who didn’t make it past 44. I, on the other hand, fully expect to. In fact, I have to: Next year I move up into the 45-49 age group, where I will again be the “baby” instead of the wheezing senior in the 40-44 AG that I’ll be as of tomorrow.

Raise a toast to the angels and devils among them:

  • Jackson Pollock, Artist: Drunk driving accident
  • Dana Reeve (wife of Christopher Reeve and head of the Christopher Reeve Foundation): Lung cancer
  • Steve Irwin (aka “The Crocodile Hunter”): Freak accident involving a stingray
  • Drake Sather, Comedian and Comedy Writer: Suicide
  • Tyrone Power, Actor: Heart attack
  • Felix Pappalardi, Bassist (Mountain) and Producer (Cream): Murdered by his girlfriend
  • F. Scott Fitzgerald, Author: Heart attack
  • Anton Chekhov, Playwrite and Author: Tuberculosis
  • Robert Louis Stevenson, Author: Cerebral hemorrhage
  • Henry David Thoreau, Author: Tuberculosis
  • Billie Holiday, Singer: Cirrhosis of the liver
  • Antoine de Saint-Exupery, Author, Illustrator, Pilot: Plane crash
  • Marquis de Sade, Aristocrat, Author and father of Sadism: Unknown

Crocuses, daffodils and snowdrops

Just an aimless little post to check in and highlight some things…

Spring flowers are springing up, appropriately. It’s still quite chilly, which I don’t mind all that much, because at least it’s been dry and above freezing most days. We’ll be in the dog days of summer soon enough.

This is a recovery week — a very easy one, in an attempt to rest up for my 30K race on Sunday. Aside from a few bouts of unexplained insomnia, I’ve felt great this week. My legs have felt really good, and the two hard workouts (a tempo-y mid-length run on Tuesday and a set of 800m intervals on the track this morning) have gone well. I’m also dropping fat, after a few weeks of disciplined eating; pants are loose and I feel lighter on my feet.

With some hesitation (due, perhaps needless to say, to our crap economy and the fact of our self-employment), I’m booking no less than three major trips this year, all of which have a running component. First, there’s a major trip out to Oregon in the late spring, kicked off by the Newport Marathon. Next up, a trip to visit Jonathan’s family in South Africa in the early fall, where we’ll race a half marathon in Hermanus (lovely area near Cape Town). And finally, we’ve committed to running the California International Marathon in Sacramento early December, after which we’ll spend an early Christmas with my family in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Links to all these races are on the Races page.

This is more traveling in one year than we’ve done in several years put together. The Oregon trip is one I’ve wanted to do, but have put off for nearly five years. And we haven’t been to South Africa in several years, so it was our turn to make the trip to reconnect. And I try to get out to California at least every 1-2 years, so it made sense to combine it with the second marathon of the year.

My resolve to take these trips was further tested today as a new wave of layoffs decimated the employee rank and file at the massive global corporation for which I contract. Well, not quite decimated: about 4% of the North American employee workforce got the axe. At least two five of my favorite colleagues got pink-slipped yesterday and I’m sure I’ll learn of others this morning. As a contractor, I’ve thus far been immune to these “head count reductions” (since I’m not officially a “head” — just a relatively buried budget line item). But I still worry. Hmm. Maybe the insomnia this week isn’t such a mystery after all.

Someone I worked with many years ago told me the story of when both he and his partner lost their jobs in the same week. Their reaction was to go on vacation to a tropical paradise for a week, then deal with it. He said it was the best thing they could have done, as they made a pact to enjoy themselves and not think about work, money, the future, etc. until they got home again. They got new jobs. Life went on. And they had a good memory to share.

So fuck it. I’m living high this year regardless of whether or not everything implodes around me. Those spring flowers have no olfactory effect, but I’m going to stop and smell them anyway.

Total change of subject: Fellow blogger Joe Garland of RunWestchester has attained 15 minutes (maybe longer!) of fame on episode 21 of Runners Round Table. I’ve become addicted to this podcast, often whiling away the hour of a recovery run with it as a background.

The next couple of days are very easy, so I probably won’t post again until after the 30K race. Until then…

No comment

The weather people have been threatening us with a winter storm since Friday. My 25K race was moved to next weekend, which necessitated some rearrangement of my running schedule for a good two weeks as a result. I did a hard 17 miler yesterday since the shit weather was predicted to start early this morning.

As of 2:34PM, no snow. So I’m hitting the road for the my second recovery run of the day, given that I’ll likely be spending most of my running time inside this week.

Forecast is still for 6-12″. The question is “When?”

I thought we were out of the woods in terms of snow and ice storms, it being March and all. But, sadly, it seems we’re in for one of the biggest wallops of the season. No wonder NYC was just voted the third worst place to train in America.