Well, that was alright

Today marked my tentative return to racing, hot on the heels of my tentative return to training. Tomorrow it will be six months to the day that I suffered a catastrophic fracture to my right sacrum on the hills of Central Park in the Club Championships. I have kept the racing shoes I was wearing at the time, with that race’s D-Tag still attached, within view of our bed. Every morning I wake up, see the shoes, and remind myself that I’ll race sometime again.

This morning I finally got to cut the D-Tag off and put a new one on. It was a meaningful moment. I’ll admit that I was a little reluctant to wear the same shoes, lest they jinx me. But I’m not superstitious in the least, and I love racing in them (they are men’s — unisex, whatever — Asics Gel Hyperspeeds that I inherited from Jonathan, for whom they were slightly too small).

I almost didn’t run this race, the NYRR Gridiron 4 Miler. Twice. Yesterday I ran two very easy 3 milers on the treadmill, as Coach Sandra’s pre-race schedule instructs. I couldn’t do the 100m strides (’cause I was on the stupid treadmill). After the AM run, my right leg didn’t feel good. Specifically, it’s an area in my groin that I place somewhere between the innermost adductor and the hamstring insertion point. I will call it my “graint.” My graint hurt during and after that run. I stretched and rolled the hell out of the area for an hour afterwards. Then I did the second run in the evening. Same issue. More stretching, rolling and cursing under my breath. The issue abated for a few hours but reemerged while I was, of all things, lying on the couch watching Spartacus. I went to bed, figuring that if it was still complaining in the morning I’d bag the race rather than risk a repeat performance of August.

This morning arrived, way too early, because I was nervous, at 5AM. All was well with the graint. In fact, everything was going really well. No traffic. Conveniently located snowdrift to park in. Baggage wasn’t too crowded. Then I went for my warmup just north of the start line. The course on East Drive was a mess. Slush and black ice abounded. It was especially treacherous in spots immediately south and north of the 72nd St Transverse. I probably ran under a mile to warm up, primarily as an investigative sortee to scope out where the worst spots were on the road. Was the entire course going to be like this? 15 minutes before start, I nearly headed home. One overextension of my graint and I could be screwed for months to come.

Things looked a little better on Cat Hill where, not coincidentally, there was some sun. I figured I should run at least the first half mile conservatively (and note where other runners ahead might be falling on their asses) and be careful in the shady sections. I lined up toward the back of the blue corral, where it was Sardine City.

I didn’t feel well. I haven’t slept well all week and the cumulative deficit showed in the mirror this morning. My stomach was screwed up before the race, no doubt due to nerves. I have not run at a sustained high effort for more than two miles since the summer. And, atop all this worry, I remain worried about getting reinjured. I have learned that it can happen easily and without warning.

So, yes, “conservative start” were the watch words today. I was glad to be in the back of the corral. Let others fly out and find the ice patches. I didn’t want to feel pushed to run faster than I was comfortable running. My “fast” running has been around 7:10 lately. Not surprisingly, that’s the pace I ran today.

I left the Garmin at home, but I wore my basic Timex so I could at least get my finish time and, if I remembered, the mile splits. I didn’t look at my watch while I was racing, as I’ve learned that this is A Bad Thing To Do. Mile 1 was on the slow side: 7:20. I somehow missed the 2 mile marker, but at 3 those two together were 14:24. I made up time on the last mile, a 6:59. I did not race all out today, although I was close. To be honest, I was worried about my graint exploding with rage should I push the pace below 7:00. But it was fine throughout and I only felt slight complaints at the end. Within a few minutes, those were gone. It’s fine now.

The purpose of this race was threefold:

  1. Simply have the experience of racing again. I have missed this unbelievably so.
  2. See if I can run fast without retriggering my chronic injury.
  3. Get some sense of my current fitness level.

As for 1, I got it. It was fun. I wished I’d raced a little harder, but item 2 took priority. That was also good. I feel confident about going back into hard training again. I will add some fartlek work (on the treadmill, not in the pool, yay) this coming week. Item 3 was about where I expected it to be: I’ve been doing tempo work at around 7:15 on a flat treadmill. It makes sense that I’d get about that pace racing on hills.

I missed out on an AG award by 1 second. That’s okay. One lucite paperweight is enough for me. Official time: 28:42, 55th F overall. Well off my best on that course of 27:34, but that’s no big surprise.

I am so fucking happy to have run a significant distance on the faster side with (seemingly) no ill effects. You have no idea.

The fat mystery widens

I went to The Nutritionist today. It’s been about a month since I last saw her. Since then I’ve been declared healthy by The Endocrinologist and I have had a VO2 max test at a local gym/personal training place in Hartsdale. But apparently the testers did not do a resting metabolic rate test, which they were supposed to. My data readouts also did not include calorie usage at the various heart rates, another requirement. The Nutritionist thinks the data for the latter is probably still in their machine, so she’s going to go try to get it from them. If it looks wacky, I will need to go back for a resting metabolic rate test. And if it’s not available, I’ll have to go for the VO2 max test again.

It’s been around 7 weeks since I first met with The Nutritionist and in this time, following what normal people follow to lose fat, I should have lost about 4 lbs. I have lost nothing. I have tracked every morsel of food and in fact, when asked if I’ve failed to account for the errant cookie, had to point out the cake I had for breakfast one day as well as double or triple vodka shots some evenings. I’ve been honest, even about things I’m not proud of.

It seems that on some days I am cutting too few calories, too many on others. I also am failing to take in enough carbohydrates after hard workouts. And I don’t eat enough fruits and vegetables. So I’m going to be given a menu of what to eat and when. We’re cutting calorie intake slightly. Then after we chase down the missing data, perhaps make more adjustments.

I would by lying if I said I wasn’t losing both faith and patience.

Here’s what the VO2 max test was like, if you’re curious. I was told that the place preferred to do it on a bike, and now I know why (wait for it). I requested a treadmill test nevertheless. I’m a runner, so I figured the calorie vs. heart rate/pace data would be more useful to me as a runner. Too bad it’s missing!

Okay, here’s what happens: They attach a big mask to your face with straps around your head. You look just like Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet. The mask is equipped with a flexible membrane that contains a sensor that measures your intake of oxygen vs. your expulsion of carbon dioxide. From that they determine things like aerobic threshold, lactate threshold and VO2 max. I have a tiny head (no derisive comments, please), so the straps were at their tightest. Yet still the mask was loose, which means oxygen was escaping out the top, over the bridge of my nose. This was not a good thing. So one of the trainers had to stand next to the treadmill and hold the mask in place. Awkward.

The test lasted 12 minutes. The heart rate monitor was wonky at first (which is why I rarely use them anymore), plus I was nervous, so my heart rate was a soaring 104. This is double my usual resting rate. It would not come down. So we just went ahead and started the test.

After a very short warmup at 9:30 pace we launched into things, gradually picking up the pace over the next couple of minutes. Soon I was running flat at 7:30 pace. That was a pace I could run very comfortably at, which was a pleasant discovery. I think my marathon pace must be slightly slower than that at this point. After gathering some data at that pace they started to increase the incline. Little by little, the hill got steeper and steeper and my heart rate went up and up. At the 10:45 mark it was starting to feel very hard.

Throughout this process, I could only stare straight ahead and use hand motions (thumbs up) to communicate. That’s because there was someone standing six inches away holding a mask to my face while someone else’s hands fiddled with the treadmill settings. I could not see anything below the bridge of my own nose. It was disorienting and worrying. I realized at one point that the reason they’d had me sign a waiver wasn’t that they were worried I’d drop dead of a heart attack — it was that I’d pitch backward off the treadmill and crack my skull on the belt. Tremendous concentration was required to stay upright and relaxed.

At 11:30 I was struggling. The incline was up to 4%, at 8mph about the equivalent of 6:45 (although who knows how fast the treadmill was actually going). At 12:10, with my heart rate at 202, I was gasping and we stopped the test. It was close enough to max, which I have clocked at 208 at the end of an “I’m about to puke” 5K race.

My VO2 max is 45.5 at the moment, a little lower than when I’ve been at my fittest (it’s more like 47 then). That was good to see, because it tells me that the months of mind-numbingly tedious cross-training were worthwhile and even the little bit of faster running I’ve been doing lately has helped.

The guys who did the test were really nice, and we chatted for quite awhile afterward. They don’t do many of them (which is why they did mine for free — to practice). They only work with about five runners, and I got the distinct impression that I’m the oldest one. So I sort of felt like someone’s science project. They offered to let me come back to do the test on the bike to compare the results (and, now I realize, so they could practice some more), for free. I may take them up on it.

In other news, I am registered for Sunday’s Gridiron 4 Miler in Central Park. I picked up my bib and for a moment thought, with a frisson of delight, that it was number 666. The last digit was obscured by the attached D-Tag. I am, in fact, number 661. If just five people had registered before me I could have run as The Antichrist.

The bib is blue. At least my pre-injury speedster paces have not expired as far as corral assignment goes. I was on the fence about doing this race, but getting a blue bib (it’s the color of the first corral, for those of you not in the NYRR know) makes me feel obligated in a some weird way.

I have no time goal for the race. I just want to race as best I can. It’s been six months. I miss racing. My biggest worry is that my problematic adductor will rebel, as it’s wont to do lately if I try to run too fast. I have promised myself that if it really starts to hurt then I will drop.

More random bloviations

Chicago was still open this morning at 8:00. Although I may as well have stayed up to register last night because I had insomnia. Because I was worried about not getting in. Damn you, Chicago Marathon. Anyway, we’re registered. I never thought I’d sign up for a big city race, but I’m doing what Coach Sandra says. Since it’s in October, and so far away, it feels completely abstract. That’s probably a good thing at this point. I’ll probably still hedge my bets with a New York registration as well.

It is now Snowing® (with Freezing Rain™!) for the ninth time this winter. My metabolic test, which has been cancelled twice already due to snow and once due to faulty equipment, is scheduled for noon today. At this point it is beginning to feel as abstract to me as the Chicago Marathon. The test was scheduled for 3 pm, but I rescheduled yesterday when I saw the latest weather warnings. I’m still not sure I’ll be able to negotiate the route given the dire warnings of impending death and destruction on the roadways.

But I will try. We live on a big hill and sometimes, if the crud is slippery enough, I can’t get my car up it. My wheels spin and spin, where I am usually trapped on a blind curve. Other drivers, who have four- (or front-) wheel drive, look askance and honk their horns. I can only reverse. Then I have to abandon our little jalopy in the church parking lot at the bottom of the hill. This is an experience I try to avoid if at all possible.

Also, about that test: I am not allowed to have any caffeine beforehand. That part’s probably harder than the actual test. I can already feel the headache coming on.

I skipped the Millrose Games on Friday. I have never been able to take that event seriously and it was just easier to sit on my couch and watch live coverage than it was to trek in on foot, then get home after midnight. I also knew I’d be spending all of Sunday in town and I can only take so much of Manhattan before I have to flee.

On Sunday I went to see this play, which my friend Michael’s wife wrote and has won a bunch of awards for. I confess that I don’t really like plays, which is odd because I love books, movies, and live music and comedy. But not plays. I don’t like opera or dance either. Notice a common theme? I am theatre challenged. I used to think it was due to a problem I have with the artifice of theatre, in that I can never suspend my disbelief. The weird, unnatural lighting; the sets that say “I’m a set!”; even the footsteps of the actors. I suspect that’s part of it, but it’s not all of it. I think I put my finger on why I can’t appreciate live theatre this weekend: I cannot help but empathize with the actors (the actors, not their characters) — meaning I feel embarrassed and worried for them, up there on stage, basically from the moment the lights come up.

Part of it has to do with my own mortification at being the center of attention in any way. I would not want to be up there (yet I know that’s precisely where they want to be). The real issue is that I find myself sitting there and obsessively speculating about their lives. Is he having trouble paying his student loans? What will she do after this play closes? Does he have health insurance? If she flubs her lines, will she get fired? So of course I’m totally distracted from what’s actually going on in the play. I have to continually guide my attention back to the characters and story, and away from the actors. I probably shouldn’t go to plays for this reason alone. I will say that I liked this one, to the extent that I am capable of liking a play, and admired the skill with which it was written, along with clever uses of various set devices, sounds and cultural ephemera. Coming from a theatre retard like me, I think that’s probably high praise.

For dinner I went out with my theatre companion and friend of 20+ years, Lisa, to this place (I like the genericism of its name). There, I learned that Turkish food is a lot like Greek food, except that it’s actually appealing. I had the lamb kebab.

Earlier in the day I had lunch with Pigtails Flying at this restaurant. I learned some things that I did not know about her. Here’s one: she’s a good lunch date.

Earlier in the week I made this:

And that was my week, plus 24 miles of running that are not worth going into detail about. This week I hope to run 40.

Chicago Marathon? Hey. Hi there. Uh, what are you doing?

What is wrong with the organizers of the Chicago Marathon? After heat-related hospitalizations and deaths marred the 2007 race, you’d think they’d be on their toes. Yet the 2011 edition, which is eight months away, has already featured two huge, easily avoidable missteps.

Misstep 1: The race will take place the day after Yom Kippur, for which observers are required to fast for 24 hours. Sure, you can race a marathon after fasting. But don’t expect a PR; there’s a good chance that it will be an awful experience too. I’m not Jewish. Nor am I Christian. I don’t think any holiday should dictate a race director’s decisions. But Yom Kippur is major — it’s kind of like failing to notice Christmas, and then scheduling the race for that day, and then saying, “Sorry! We spent years planning this — and did not look at a calendar during those years — and things can’t be changed now.” I understand the consternation.

Misstep 2: You can register for the race online, but registration starts at midnight tonight CST. Boston’s 2011 race filled up in a mere eight hours (and that’s only because a broken registration link sent runners off into the weeds for several hours). Will Chicago fill up this fast? I don’t know. I guess if I want to be certain of getting in then I have to stay up until 1 o’fucking clock in the morning on a weeknight to register. Or get up at a reasonable hour and hope there are spots left.

Why, Chicago Marathon? Why? If you were hoping to generate excitement by opening up registration at midnight, then guess what? You’ve failed. Instead, you’ve generated anxiety and resentment. I haven’t even registered for your race yet and I don’t trust you to care about my experience as a customer. Nor do I like you all that much. Nice job.

“Everything looks great!”

The Endocrinologist has spoken in her three-word addendum at the bottom of my test results: there’s nothing obviously wrong with me, at least in any of the areas she tested for. While I’m glad there’s nothing wrong, I was kind of hoping whatever she tested for would yield some clues.

The Nutritionist remains puzzled by my total lack of progress: “I wonder what your metabolic rate is.” Uh, I’m thinking it’s in the basement, or being warmed by magma. To get an answer to that question, I am still trying to get an appointment set up at the fitness facility with the dodgy carbon dioxide detector. No one was there today when I called — another snow day?

Yeah, so here’s the part where I whine and wallow in a most unattractive fashion.

My damned adductor is acting up again, for no apparent reason, asserting itself during a two hour driveway-clearing session this morning. It’s been snowing non-stop, making getting the 25 minutes north to the gym impossible on many days. I often don’t feel like running on our treadmill, so I blow it off; it just seems completely pointless. I’m chronically injured (as is Jonathan). I’m getting fatter, for reasons no one understands. I cannot run outside because of the snow and ice. What the fuck am I even training for? I can’t even set any goals in this current state. I will part with $290 for two Chicago Marathon registrations next week, but I don’t even know why. I don’t know if I can even handle a 4 mile race in 10 days, physically or psychologically.

Why did I love running? What did it feel like, to believe I could improve? I’m having trouble remembering.

There’s a new club points series in town

Loyal listeners of the New York Running Show (all 81 of you) will have heard the distinctly distressed aural hand-wringing that four of us engaged in on Sunday afternoon as we discussed NYRR’s unveiling of the club points races for 2011. “No more Healthy Kidney 10K? Hey, a spring half — in Brooklyn! But WTF is Fifth Avenue Mile doing there?!”

But, as we like to say here in New York, “Whaddya gonna do?” It is what it is.

One of us at least is doing what any sensible person does in such cases: go west. And east. And north. And south.

That sensible person would be Steve Lastoe of NYCRuns.com who, along with a few other ambitious New York area runners, is attempting to supplement NYRR’s offerings (but not supplant them) with a new series of races in which clubs can chase points (and prizes!). The NYCRuns InterClub Challenge consists of races that are off the beaten path.

Here are the deets about the race series (still being created, but a few races are on the official roster) and the still-being-designed scoring scheme. Since I am now an “insider” (which gets me nothing of commercial or negotiable value thus far, although I’m scoring big on the personal satisfaction side of things), I know of a few other races — impressive ones — that are in the works. But I’m not allowed to talk about them yet.

These races are going to happen whether or not teams choose to exploit them as a competitive opportunity. But I hope they do make that choice, even if it means doing something incredibly adventurous — like taking a train or subway to an exotic new zip code — because it would be fun to carry that extra dimension of racing motivation and excitement to other venues around the area.

New Houston Hopeful interview: Lori Kingsley

Lori Kingsley is fast enough to have regularly rubbed shoulders with (and been lent hotel room showers by) marathoning’s professional elites. She wins a lot of races. She likes to play dress up. And she describes herself as “a happy runner.” This one took awhile to post, but I think it was worth the wait. The 90+ minute audio is an added treat.

Houston Hopefuls > Lori Kingsley

Random bloviations

I enjoyed hosting this podcast earlier in the evening. I am always a total fucking wreck in the hours before doing interviews and tonight was no exception. I wish I could say it gets easier, but it doesn’t. I am always nervous beforehand. I do it anyway. But having good interviewees helps a lot and tonight I scored an 11 (see previous Spinal Tap reference). I am grateful for the participation and insights of my three excellent guests, Lize Brittin, Dave Dunham and Diane Israel.

We had another good podcast yesterday on the New York Running Show, primarily about NYRR’s new Club Points Race lineup for 2011. We’re trying not to make every week’s show about NYRR, but it’s a little hard to avoid them as subject matter. Overall, we were all pleased with the changes, although there was trepidation in particular about how NYRR will handle the Fifth Avenue Mile, now that it’s a club scoring event.

I got a media pass for Friday’s Millrose Games. That was a pleasant and unexpected surprise. I suspect they gave it to me because I said, “I don’t want anything from you — Media Center space, press table seat, etc. — I’m just a humble journeywoman blogger/podcaster…I won’t make much noise or eat hardly anything…” I have no clue where I’m sitting, but I’ll take whatever they’re offering. The track is a paperclip anyway, so I’m thinking that even bad seats probably aren’t that bad.

Jonathan’s running again. Around 50 minutes at a time. He zips round and round and round on our gym’s own paperclip track, an open-air number with 90 degree turns on the second floor. I watch him overhead as I toil on the treadmill. It’s a pleasing sight indeed. Also, his birthday is tomorrow, although with the exception of French toast we’re holding off on celebrating properly (meaning there will be cake and wine) until the weekend. He’ll be at the top end of his AG now. I think he’ll be back racing within three months. Just a guess.

I have no clue what to do about a fall marathon. I’ll probably register us for Chicago since it’s sure to close out. The fact that it’s been a hot weather race for three out of four years isn’t encouraging. But I’ve been told by the little bird I live with to give up control. Still, I’m tempted to register for New York too (especially if I can qualify with a half, which I’m pretty sure I can). I should be happy just to be training again. But I am looking ahead already, probably ungrateful. Sorry, running Gods. Deal with it.

I sent in article #3 for Running Times this morning (for web, not print) — “Cross-Training Alternatives for Winter.” Lots of runners I don’t even know helped with information to help me fill in the spots I’m ignorant about: namely, yoga, Pilates and snowshoe running. I winged it pretty convincingly on cross-country skiing. Conversely, I can now write about spinning, pool running and the elliptical with utter and complete authority. Has it all been said already? Probably. But I did include some clever witticisms.

I think I have some more substantial freelance writing work coming in. Possibly. I’ll know more next week. It’s typical of this time of year. Nothing ever happens in January, an extended holiday hangover combined with corporate spending and decision-making paralysis. I hope it comes through, as I like the client and would get a chance to work with a team of capable writers with whom I enjoyed collaborating last year. Plus, it’s always good to have money coming in to pay for things like new windows, masonry work and expensive birthday steaks.

Tomorrow I’m heads down, working on publishing my Houston Hopefuls interview with Lori Kingsley. The delay seems ridiculous — the last one was published in October. It’s been a rough winter. But it will go up this week. It’s a fun interview — the audio features a lot of laughing. I enjoyed interviewing Lori immensely, something that shows not just in the quality of our exchange but also the fact that it went on for well over an hour and a half. I hope I get a chance to meet her eventually, but that’s the case with all the Hopefuls.

Finally, it’s colder than Pluto in New York right now. Seriously. The cat went outside, then came back in a minute later with a “What the…?” look on her face. Highly unusual, since she usually loves the cold if it means a chance to kill things.

Training: Jan 16-22

47.2 miles? How'd that happen?

Training these days feels like 12 Steps: 1 day at a time. But at least I don’t have to go back and apologize to a bunch of people. Or turn myself over to a higher power. Or stop drinking. Okay, it’s nothing like 12 Steps.

Maybe it’s more like finally escaping after being trapped in a plastic pod for six months.

I ran every day this week because I had a plan. Some of the runs were difficult. Others, just tedious. But, damn it, I did them. And ended up running 7 miles more than planned.

Last Sunday’s foray into Central Park showed some progress (although not enough to confidently commit to a long race anytime soon). Wednesday’s scary tempo run provided lessons in learning lessons. I did some pool running, primarily so I don’t forget how, but also to get some more “miles” in with 15 minutes of faster “running.”

Yesterday’s weather was like some kind of cruel joke. But it was predicted to be even worse today (and it was). So I dragged myself into the city yesterday afternoon, moving my Sunday long run to Saturday. I felt recovered enough, although I ran somewhat crappily anyway, probably because I was tired from the “high mileage” week and also because I always run about 15-20% slower when my hormones are skyrocketing.

God, I hate the city in January. Piles of filthy snow and black ice everywhere, a wind that feels as if someone who doesn’t like you very much is vigorously sandpapering your face, toes that burn for an hour before losing all feeling entirely. I came in over the Madison Avenue Bridge (because I’m trying to save money on tolls) and circled round and round Harlem before finally finding a snow-encrusted space on 118th St. I got out, walked three blocks, then realized I’d forgotten my MP3 player. When I got back to the car, it was touch and go for a moment. It was so tempting to get back in, turn on the heater, and drive home. As my masonry specialist would say, I was quickly developing “a case of the fuck-its.”

That would be me on the left.

But I’d driven in, finally found a space, and I really had to pee. So I made my way through the moonscape into the park, availed myself of some sub-freezing relief and got to work. The runners were sparser than usual yesterday, although that may have been because so many of my usual companions had already run 13.1 miles there in the morning (in 14F base temperature) in the Manhattan Half. Their discarded Gu packets were everywhere.

No fast miles for me yesterday. A few were just under 8:00, but most were plodding at between 8:30 and 9:00. I swung clockwise around the park, then reversed direction at the 5 mile mark. I was slightly underdressed, which is preferable to being overdressed. But I was exhausted later on, probably due to having to expend so much energy to keep myself from dying of exposure. Ten miles was, I suspect, a tad too far after the week, but I felt compelled to hit that number.

The problem adductor was whining a little, but so was her sister. I don’t think either of them like the cold very much. I came home and took an hour-long hot bath and was still cold. That’s how cold it was.

I took today off.

Next week I have around 37 miles scheduled. Let’s see if I overachieve again.

I’ve registered for the Gridiron 4 Miler in two weeks. I have no expectations. I just want to run in a race again.

Upcoming Podcast: Eating Disorders and Exercise Addiction

Next week on Monday, January 24th at 7PM ET I’ll be hosting an edition of The Runners Round Table on the subject of eating disorders and exercise addiction among runners. My guests include three runners who are distinguished not only by their athletic accomplishments, but also by their having overcome these problems and — beyond that — their efforts to educate others through writing, filmmaking and speaking out.

Here’s a description of the show and bios of my guests > RRT 111: Eating Disorders and Exercise Addiction

Listen in online, join us in the chatroom, or download the show afterwards for later listening.