The hissing of summer swans

Posted on April 27, 2008 by threlkeld

Okay, it was a goose. But I couldn’t resist a Joni Mitchell-related pun.

Today was my first longish run since the April 6th race. Among the sights today were:

  • Dog Runner Man: A professional dog walker who runs with his charges. He’s usually got four dogs in tow. Last time, it was mid-sized mutts and little yappy jobs. Today it was the big guns, including three of my favorite breed: German Shepherds.
  • Badass Goose Dad: I know it’s spring because the geese couples are beginning to show up with their little fluffball chick children. Which means Dad Goose goes batshit if you get with 10 yards of the family. I was chased by a hissing goose a year or two back, and it’s an image seared into my brain. Today I gave them wide berth and even had to employ the “make yourself look really big” trick (arms akimbo) to psyche out the goose. One time we were in a car and a goose charged the car!
  • Mysterious Parking Lot Crowd: Every child in Crestwood was gathered in the Crestwood station parking lot this morning for some mysterious event. They all had sport uniforms on. From a distance, I thought I’d stumbled on another meeting of what Jonathan and I have referred to as The Idiots’ Club — a giant crowd of adults was gathered last weekend in the same general area, but totally blocking the entire path, milling around, not at all aware that anyone else might be using it. Today I thought the same thing: one of my favorite Claire Fisher lines from “Six Feet Under”: “News flash! Other people exist!”
  • Fast Runner Guy I Haven’t Seen Before. I saw a very fast, very fit guy running this morning. Harumph. And I thought I knew all the decent runners in the area by sight.

I’ve not taken the standard advice to do no hard running for at least 26 days after a marathon. I did a lot of recovery and “easy” (faster than recovery) running last week. This week I did a 4 mile tempo run at 7:05-7:15 per mile pace on Friday morning on the very high quality (if not totally distance accurate) Bronxville High School track (one of the many perks of living right up the road from incredibly rich people). This morning was a 14.7 miler, which I surprised myself by doing at 8:15 per mile pace, at a lowish heart rate no less. I’m not sure where all that speed is coming from, but I’ll take it.

Next weekend is my half marathon in New Jersey. If it goes well, I think I’ll make a habit of doing one a month after the marathon, since it keeps me working during recovery and provides some remedy for the post-marathon melancholy.

On the family front, the other shoe has dropped with regard to my grandmother. She’s back in hospice once again, by her own choice. I wish she’d fight on, but maybe when I reach 93, and time and illness have stolen some of my most treasured faculties, I’ll also decide to throw in the towel on life. It’s a hard, hard thing to say goodbye. But love was all around when I was out there two weeks ago, as was the black humor that seems to run in both sides of the family (which would explain why my sister and I have it in spades).

I’m still on the hook for writing her obituary. But I can’t quite bring myself to tackle that one yet.

Some random media notes:

I’ve rented a string of dreadful movies lately. Werner Herzog’s “Rescue Dawn” was a welcome break from that last night. It’s a classic hero’s journey storyline. Well-written and I’ll watch about anything Christian Bale’s in. Unfortunately, the movie should have ended about 20 minutes earlier than it did, but other than that it was a good flick.

I’m also really enjoying Lionel Shriver’s latest novel, “The Post-Birthday World“. It’s a “Sliding Doors”-type of structure, with alternate chapters portraying how the main character’s life plays out under two scenarios: one in which she kisses a man, the other in which she doesn’t. Her work can be uneven — I thought “Game Control” fell apart as a story about halfway through, losing all momentum, for example or, in the case of “We Need to Talk About Kevin,” a good start ended up careening into histrionic melodrama. But she is a very skilled writer and she has a wonderful eye for absurd situations and the comedic potential presented by the tensions between siblings and their parents.

Filed under: everyday life, movies, reading, training, westchester | 3 Comments »

An expensive hobby?

Posted on April 22, 2008 by threlkeld

Or a cheap passion?

I recently discovered, thanks to Quicken, that we spend around 1.5% of our gross income on running annually. Is that high? Low?

It’s more than what we spend on liquor. That’s saying something, right?

Filed under: drinking, everyday life | 1 Comment »

Runs like a squirrel

Posted on April 19, 2008 by threlkeld

What the hell is it with squirrels? They are the most impulsive creatures on the planet and exhibit consistently poor judgment.

Twice this week, I’ve had to stop the car as a squirrel darted under the wheels. This morning, when I was out for a run, another one ran right up to me and just whirled around in circles before darting back the way it came.

Forget lemmings. Squirrels are the true suicidal rodent.

Filed under: everyday life | Leave a comment »

In Iowa

Posted on April 13, 2008 by threlkeld

I’ve been in Iowa for the past few days. I flew out here on Wednesday to attend to what I suppose is meant when someone uses the term “family crisis.” My beloved 93-year-old grandmother suffered a stroke a little under two weeks ago and she was aiming to slip from this mortal coil, or so it seemed. She’d been in a great deal of pain and discomfort, with reduced capacity in key areas (can’t walk, can’t swallow, double vision in one eye). She raised her hand for the “no extraordinary measures” option and stopped taking water and food on Monday.

But you know what? My grandmother may be one of the few people I’ll ever know who left a hospice facility alive. She looked like she was fading on Thursday morning, and we were all getting prepared to say goodbye sometime during the coming days or weeks. I was even working on a draft of her obit. Then, in the afternoon, she perked up and began talking about wanting to fight on. From heartbreak to hope in the space of a few hours — Thursday probably ranks up there as one of the worst and best days of my life.

Now she’s out of hospice and back in the hospital rehab unit, taking food and water through a tube, as well as starting to manage food by mouth. She handled her first round of physical therapy yesterday like a trouper. Her sense of humor is intact, as is her fighting spirit. She has lots of hurdles in front of her: first, to learn to swallow, stand and walk so she can get out of the hospital. Next, weeks or months of work in the skilled nursing area of her retirement home. Then, if that goes well, a move over to assisted living. She even has an outside shot at getting back into her apartment.

I am in awe at her ability to survive.

I head back home tomorrow, but will probably make another trip out in May or June to cheer her on (and up).

Since this is a running blog, some obligatory running stuff is in order: I didn’t run for three days post-marathon, which seemed to be the perfect thing to do. On Thursday I did four miles at 10:30 on the motel treadmill, then five miles at 10:00 on Friday. Yesterday the entire exercise room was put out of commission until sometime next week due to a broken door.

So I headed out onto the streets of Cedar Rapids into 20 mph winds (I’m used to it!) and horizontal sleet. It ended up being a fantastic run. I hammered out six miles, despite the wind, for an average of 8:30 per mile. I’m running in my new Saucony Fastwitch 3’s and they are hands down the best running shoes I’ve ever worn. They weigh 6 ounces and make me feel like Gete Wami. Finished up the run at 7:50 (the tailwind helped on the way back), pleasantly relaxed and ready for the whatever the day had in store, which was good news all around, as it turned out.

I love running here. Cornfields, sky and flatness yield expansive vistas like this. The city is more or less a grid, with lots of major avenues, so it’s difficult for even me to get lost. And I rarely see other runners, so I get to feel like a local curiosity for an hour or so.

The weather is similar today (actually, colder at 20 degrees with the windchill), but I’ll head out for the same run in a few minutes.

Filed under: clothes and gear, everyday life, inspiration, travel | 1 Comment »

Tapering’s not so bad. So far.

Posted on March 27, 2008 by threlkeld

Maybe I’ll feel differently next week, but so far I am loving (to use the present continuous) my taper.

I went out for one of my last quality runs this morning, a 7 miler with 3 miles at marathon pace. I was a little alarmed, since my heart rate was pretty high for those miles. But I’m trying not to worry about it. My watch was acting hinky, losing satellite contact, so I’m chalking it up to technical difficulties. I’ve got too much other evidence that I can run 7:48 in the mid-80s to put too much stock in one flukey off day.

Now I do my one daily run in the morning and…I don’t have another run cluttering up my evening. I can do other stuff. Like go to Trader Joe’s. Or lie on the couch and read a book. Or play with the cat. Or all three! In one evening! And it’s not even time to make dinner yet. What do other people do with all their time? Oh, right. They have kids and commutes and social lives…

The only big drawback is that I can’t eat as much and drinking anything fun (like wine, beer or vodka) is out of the question, since that’ll put me right into calorie overage. So I’m drinking lots of tea and looking forward to the afternoon of April 6, about an hour post-race, when I will begin my birthday blowout blitz.

Filed under: everyday life | 1 Comment »

Why Americans are fat and broke

Posted on March 14, 2008 by threlkeld


I was thinking of just posting this image with the title and leaving it at that, but I felt some analysis was in order.

Around two thirds of American citizens are overweight. About half of those people are obese. And we’re on track for those numbers to continue to trend dramatically upward.

I have nothing against overweight people. I used to be an overweight person myself, albeit only slightly so. I will say that I’m much happier not to be overweight anymore, and that’s primarily owing to how I feel, although looking better has been a fringe benefit of losing weight.

I do have something against people who throw garbage out the car window onto my street, however. Like this receipt. I picked it up and, well, how could I not play amateur anthropologist?

So here, with caveats*, I present an analysis of this McDonald’s receipt and why I believe it is emblematic of why our country is facing such enormous health and financial crises.

Exhibit A: This food was purchased at around 10PM at night on a Wednesday. Was it dinner? If so, wow, talk about a meal completely devoid of nutritional value. Can you say Type 2 Diabetes?

Exhibit B: If this was merely a late night snack, then how many calories were in that snack? I’ll tell you how many:

Cinnamon Melts: 480
Medium French Fries: 380
Large Vanilla Shake: 1,110
Total calories: 1,960

Let’s assume this was a guy of average height and weight (which today means overweight). We’ll peg him at 5’10” and 200 pounds (BMI of 29, right in the middle of the overweight range). He gets no regular exercise (remember: he’s average).

His caloric needs for the day therefore are somewhere in the range of 2,250. And let’s assume that he’s alone and wasn’t sharing this with his significant other or a child. Our littering friend has just consumed over 87% of his daily required calorie intake in those three food items. That leaves room for a piece of fruit and handful of nuts. I wonder if that’s all he ate for the rest of the day. Probably not.

He’s also just consumed 80%, 42% and 39% of his recommended daily maximums for saturated fat, cholesterol and sodium, respectively. Ouch.

Exhibit C: I’ll admit that not only do I rarely eat out, I pretty much never buy fast food. Maybe once every few years, and only under duress when there are no other available options. Even then, I go for the plain chicken breast.

So, I’m totally out of touch with what garbage food costs today. But seven dollars? That seems an unconscionable amount to charge someone for three fast food items.

Exhibit D: MasterCard. It’s everywhere you want to be. Even if that’s McDonald’s on Tuckahoe Road at 10 o’clock at night on a Wednesday. Maybe our guy pays off his credit card bill every month. But, again, he’s average. Meaning that there’s a good chance that he’s among the 60% of Americans who carry a revolving balance, the median of which is $2,200.

That’s a lot of boxes of cinnamon melts. 1,078, to be exact.

*I know nothing about the purchasor of these food items. But I’m a pessimist, and I believe in statistics. So I’m going to assume the worst.

Filed under: eating, everyday life, humor, westchester | 3 Comments »

"What do you think about on those long runs?"

Posted on March 8, 2008 by threlkeld

This was a question a colleague asked me a few months ago. I’d let her know that I’d be in late because I had to run 20 miles on a weekday morning. Like most non-runners, she found this unfathomable. After asking how long it took me, she asked what no one ever has: “What do you think about on those long runs?”

She does a lot of yoga and meditation, so was curious to know if I meditated. That was a tough one to answer. I think I replied that if by meditating she meant “being in the present and clearing one’s mind” that in fact running a race was more meditative than running a training run was.

I did a 20 miler yesterday morning. As I ran along, I kept track of some of the things I thought about. Here they are, unexpurgated, unadulterated and uncensored.

(Maybe some runners out there think deep thoughts. As you can see, I’m not one of them.)

+ + + + +

Warmer today. I wonder if that bottle I hid up by Hartsdale station is still frozen.

+ + + + +

Snippet of a song by Spoon: “Finer Feelings”

+ + + + +

“It is to laugh.” Who said that? Shakespeare? Or Bugs Bunny? Bugs Bunny quoting Shakespeare, maybe.

+ + + + +

Snippet of a Marshall Crenshaw song: “The Distance Between”

+ + + + +

Pothole. Go left.

+ + + + +

Gloves. They’re in a stump up ahead. Where’s the stump? There’s the stump.

+ + + + +

Snippet of a song by The Beautiful Girls: “I Thought About You”

+ + + + +

These signs for the crosswalk lights are all screwed up. The one that says “To cross Harney Road” is pointing toward the parkway. And vice versa. I wonder how many people push the wrong button every day, and stand here for five minutes like a douchebag.

+ + + + +

What is that? It’s a ball. A Sesame Street ball. Is that Grover or the Cookie Monster? Cookie Monster. No, wait. Too skinny. Grover.

+ + + + +

I’ll stop now. Imagine this, though. For three hours.

Filed under: everyday life, humor, training | 2 Comments »

When the dog bites, when the bee stings…

Posted on February 20, 2008 by threlkeld

When the dog bites, and you can’t find the dog, it’s apparently a big deal.

Earlier in the month I was merrily running along and I passed one of the many people walking a dog along the Bronx River Reservation pathway. Unfortunately for me, the dog — a large German shepherd — went nuts as I passed and bit me in several places on my forearm and wrist.

Needless to say, it was an alarming experience, one which rattled me. After a free and frank exchange with the owner, who expressed about as much concern as I would expect from a telephone pole, I ran on. As I ran, I thought, hmm, this is bad. I’ve just been bitten by a dog. Will that dog bite other people? Has it already? Has the dog had shots?

By the time I’d run through all this in my mind, the owner and dog were long gone.

So. If this happens to you: Get contact info from the owner because if you don’t, you may be in for a world of hassle. Like me!

First, report the bite to the police. Although it’s not highest on their list of priorities, dogs that bite people are of interest to them. Also, assuming it’s not bad enough to have gone to the emergency room already, go to your doctor, who will probably give you a prescription for an industrial strength antibiotic (such as Augmentin) as well as make sure you’re up to date on your tetanus booster. And who, if he or she practices in Westchester, will be required to inform the health dept. That’s where the fun really begins.

Yesterday was the first of a series of rabies prophylaxis shots. The dark ages of giant needles getting shoved into your abdomen are long gone, but it’s still not pleasant. I needed to go to the health department (with a cooler, no less) to pick up my own vaccine. Then I had to truck it over (quickly!) to my doctor, so I could get six shots yesterday. I have four more shot sessions in the coming weeks. Then I’m free to frolic with rabid animals with aplomb.

So far, I’ve had no side effects to speak of (save for soreness around the shot locations, and a weird ache behind my eyes, like I’m getting a cold). Oh, and a palpable sense of annoyance and resentment that won’t go away. Is that a side effect?

M’kay. So. If you’re running along the pathway and you meet up with an irresponsible dog owner and a large German shepherd named Virginia, steer clear. And let me know. Because if Virginia the dog is still lunging at people, it means she isn’t rabid (just garden-variety vicious) and I can stop going in for these damned shots.

Filed under: everyday life, westchester | 4 Comments »

Happy New Year…almost…

Posted on December 31, 2007 by threlkeld

So many choices. What will I be doing this evening? Well, for one thing, I’ll be staying as far away from Times Square as possible. I did that once. Never again.

We have a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle, some appealing liquor choices, the makings of homemade pizza, and a Planet of the Apes marathon on AMC. What more does one need to ring in the new year?

Tomorrow I do a tempo run and take down the Christmas decorations in the morning. Then I lie on the couch all afternoon watching hours of English Premier League Football and consuming (for me) vast quantities of beer (three?).

It’s all over on Wednesday.

Filed under: drinking, everyday life, movies | Leave a comment »

Julie the Hut

Posted on December 26, 2007 by threlkeld

Blorg. I am bloated with Christmas spirit.

I can’t believe how much I’ve had to eat and drink in the past 48 hours.

Christmas Eve featured:

  • a large vodka martini
  • goose pate (“no liver” — I’m not quite sure how to interpret that, since I thought pate was liver)
  • a pound+ sirloin steak
  • an enormous pile of french fries
  • a large piece of chocolate raspberry cake
  • too many glasses of wine to count

Christmas Day wasn’t much better — although since I was still digesting the Eve’s excesses I really didn’t eat much until the “turkey and fixings” extravaganza started around 6 o’clock yesterday. I was sufficiently inebriated and stuffed to fall into bed, semi-conscious, at around 9:15. I won’t enumerate what I consumed yesterday since it’s shameful. But it was delicious. And it only took five hours to prepare.

But, to my credit, I’ve been running a lot despite the bricks in my stomach. I did 10 miles of recovery running on Christmas Eve, a 10 mile easy run (last two at marathon pace) Christmas Day, and a 14 miler today. If I’m lucky, I’ll break even on the calories, although judging by the size of my stomach, I’m not so sure.

Santa, in collusion with Jonathan, brought some good running stuff in this year. This top — in red — from UnderArmour (which I love, although it’s currently embarrassingly form-fitting), and this hat. And this thermos for post-run tea or hot chocolate (when I “park and run” up in Scarsdale for my Sunday long runs). And…and…and…nice, thoughtful gifts from my generous family.

It’s a very quiet week at work, so I’m getting things done like archiving project files and emails, listening to pre-recorded “2008 strategy” calls and trying to decipher their encrypted messages…and generally catching up on other administrata that I haven’t had time to do lately.

Tomorrow morning is the annual “drug the cat” event, in which I administer Kitty Kwaludes to our half-feral cat in order to get her in to the vet for annual shots. It takes her about a day and half to get back to normal, during which time she’s stumbling around like Robert Mitchum at the Oscars, and we’re just focusing on not letting her fall down the stairs. In our household, the excitement truly never stops.

Filed under: clothes and gear, drinking, eating, everyday life | Leave a comment »

« Previous Page — Next Page »