“I think you need to stop making plans.”

This is what Jonathan said to me about a week ago. I was sick, still feeling like a half-crippled rhino when I did make attempts to run, and reviewing a list of unappealing, far-flung marathons in April.

That fellow gives good advice sometimes. I’m listening to him, for once. I’ve got no marathon plans whatsoever. I need to be able to run “like everybody else” again (in the words of Special K*) before I can think about that.

Who knows what the spring holds? I can’t afford to care too much. As for the fall, I may want to run Chicago. Or I may not. It all depends. But there will be no plans for the time being. It’s just going to be day by day.

*Thanks to all who offered kind words on that article and about both Sandra and Khalid.

Resolutions

Here’s an opener that should score 4,000 on the Pretentious-o-meter: I was reading some Kafka last night. Yeah. I unearthed The Complete Stories, a book I bought while in high school when I went through my philosophy phase, and looked up a story called “A Country Doctor.” That story was referred to in an article I read earlier in the day. Not a very good article, but kind of interesting, the mysteriously awful and unfunny accompanying illustration aside. The article’s author asserts that Kafka thought “A Country Doctor” was his best story. I find that a little hard to believe, but there it is. If it’s on the Internet, there’s about a 50% chance that it’s true.

Jonathan implied that I was being passe (I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to put the little accent mark over the “e” on Windows, although I do on the Mac). I was mildly insulted by this, although I agreed too. But it was kind of like being caught trying on a pair of bell-bottoms you found from 30 years ago, to see if you still fit into them. A little embarrassing, but, you know, it’s still Kafka. I like to think he’s got some staying power apart from shifting cultural passions. It’s not like I was reading The Thornbirds or Future Shock.

So. Anyway. After not being all that impressed with “A Country Doctor” I moved on to other stories in the book. I’d been thinking of writing a New Year’s Resolutions post and, hey, what’s this? It’s a story right here, lookey here, called “Resolutions”. It’s short enough that I can include it in its entirety:

Resolutions

To lift yourself out of a miserable mood, even if you have to do it by strength of will, should be easy. I force myself out of my chair, stride around the table, exercise my head and neck, make my eyes sparkle, tighten the muscles around them. Defy my own feelings, welcome A. enthusiastically supposing he comes to see me, amiably tolerate B. in my room, swallow all that is said at C.’s, whatever pain and trouble it may cost me, in long draughts.

Yet even if I manage that, one single slip, and a slip cannot be avoided, will stop the whole process, easy and painful alike, and I will have to shrink back into my own circle again.

So perhaps the best resource is to meet everything passively, to make yourself an inert mass, and, if you feel that you are being carried away, not to let yourself be lured into taking a single unnecessary step, to stare at others with the eyes of an animal, to feel no compunction, in short, with your own hand to throttle down whatever ghostly life remains in you, that is, to enlarge the final peace of the graveyard and let nothing survive save that.

A characteristic movement in such a condition is to run your little finger along your eyebrows.

Personally, I feel that this little piece of writing blows “A Country Doctor” out of the water. But that’s just my opinion.

Yeah. So. Resolutions. I’ve been thinking a lot about the year ahead as the month of December has marched quickly toward it, mostly marked by a tenacious cold and lots of not running and no exercising of any sort. I’ve gotten depressed. I’ve gotten anxious. My mind has whirled and twirled inward on itself in the unhealthy way Mr. Kafka describes above. I have been in a miserable mood. All of this really needs to stop.

Here’s what I am resolving to do next year:

With regard to running, stop trying so hard. I need to let go of what’s happened over the last couple of years and stop expecting progress to happen on a certain schedule. I may also need to let go of the marathon, if it’s obviously not working out as a distance for me, and have that be okay.

Go to more parties. Partly because I want to, but mostly because I have to. I am a complete failure at parties and I’m not at all happy with this state of affairs. I went to one last weekend and in a 3 hour span of time had about 20 minutes of satisfying interaction with strangers. The rest of the time I was an anxious mess. Another one last month wasn’t much better. While I’m tempted to just avoid them altogether, that’s no way to live. So I need to practice.

Be neater. Get rid of stuff I don’t want anymore without attendant agony. Just give (or throw) shit away even if it’s “worth something.” The Yonkers Dump and FreeCycle are there for a reason. Reject new clutter. Rediscover our household surfaces. Clean on a regular basis.

Follow my instincts. I got better at this over the course of this year, but it was not always easy. I quit a steady gig that was making me desperately unhappy. I rejected new ones that for whatever reason didn’t feel right. I spent my limited social energies with more care. I went to Vermont with a bunch of people I didn’t know. I started or got involved in projects without giving myself the opportunity to talk myself out of them. Everything worked out.

Eat more fruits and vegetables; floss every day. This isn’t a joke. I do need to do this. This is going to be the year.

Stop complaining about the weather. I live in New York. It gets cold and it gets hot. It’s time I accepted that fact. Come to think of it, I should stop complaining so much in general.

Have more patience. With everyone and everything.

Ease up on Facebook. It’s a largely meaningless time suck. I do enjoy sharing things on it, but I’ve realized on some days that I’ve spent upwards of 2 hours on the thing. This is not a good habit.

In conclusion, for 2011 I will be doing much more than making myself into an inert mass and running my little finger along my eyebrows.

To lift yourself out of a miserable mood, even if you have to do it by strength of will, should be easy.
I force myself out of my chair, stride around the table, exercise my head and neck, make my eyes
sparkle, tighten the muscles around them. Defy my own feelings, welcome A. enthusiastically
supposing he comes to see me, amiably tolerate B. in my room, swallow all that is said at C.’s,
whatever pain and trouble it may cost me, in long draughts.
Yet even if I manage that, one single slip, and a slip cannot be avoided, will stop the whole process,
easy and painful alike, and I will have to shrink back into my own circle again.
So perhaps the best resource is to meet everything passively, to make yourself an inert mass, and, if
you feel that you are being carried away, not to let yourself be lured into taking a single
unnecessary step, to stare at others with the eyes of an animal, to feel no compunction, in short,
with your own hand to throttle down whatever ghostly life remains in you, that is, to enlarge the
final peace of the graveyard and let nothing survive save that.
A characteristic movement in such a condition is to run your little finger along your eyebrows.

Things I found while cleaning out our office

Since the freelance work is light right now and I’m not going anywhere for the holidays, I’ve decided to clean out my office (which is really just our second bedroom) once and for all. I have piles of paper that are four years old. I have computers that, if they were human, would be in the 7th grade. I have a “filing system” that hasn’t been touched in, uh, well, I don’t know how long.

Going through piles of papers requires focus as well as a certain kind of ruthlessness. It’s easy to pick up something, such as an article from some random magazine that mentions small business health plans, and go off into the weeds with it, looking at web sites and creating, yes, more paper. Focus. Focus. Focus. Discard. File. Shred.

But I have gotten tripped up a few times in these last few days, by things like this:

  • Race bibs. I have dozens. What do I do with these things? I can’t bear to throw them away. I’ll just file them.
  • Ephemeral holiday notes from my grandmother, who died nearly three years ago. There’s nothing deep in them and I hate being a pack rat. I’ve decided I’m keeping one and throwing out the rest.
  • One of my cat’s whiskers. I don’t know how that got in there.
  • An attempt by me to analyze what was going wrong with my running last year: a list of races from 2008 and early 2009 with paces and heart rates and baffled notes for each, collectively asking the same question: “Why am I getting slower?” If I’d only known what lay ahead.
  • Project plans and schedules for Sisyphean IBM projects that were destined to run long and go over budget (if not fail outright), drafts for annual “interactive strategies,” phone call notes (in one set it looks like I couldn’t figure out the name of the person I was talking to and I wrote: “Dairy?”). Jesus. I do not miss that gig.
  • Draft of a terrible short story. I should actually keep this around in a prominent place so I stop being tempted to write fiction.
  • Copies of the police statements given to a Greyton, South Africa detective by Jonathan and his brother, Rob, on the evening that our rental place was broken into by the local meth heads.
  • The 2008 Spring Catalog from Westchester Community College. What was I interested in? Was it the “Salsa Cruise”? Or maybe it was “Make Extra Cash!” Or perhaps “Healthy Cooking with Carol.” I have no idea.
  • A copy of an outraged letter, along with proof of certified delivery, addressed to our bank. They switched us to some ridiculous new status, which would impose a big monthly fee on us if we dropped below a certain balance. We threatened to pull all of our money (“All of our holdings!” I’m sure this got a big laugh.) if they switched us. They switched us anyway. We did nothing. Ah, inertia. Incidentally, while I do write a great outraged letter, it’s nothing compared to this one.
  • A recipe for something called “Addictive Pumpkin Muffins.” Like I don’t have enough problems already.

This is just my area. Jonathan has two feet of papers on his desk that I am insisting he go through. And then there’s the office closet, which we can barely close. Gads.

Hump day update

I’m on Day 10 of The Cold. This one’s a nasty strain. Oh, it’s nasty, people. It starts with an incredibly sore throat, blocked sinuses and feeling run down. That goes on for about six days. Random bouts of upset stomach are thrown in just to keep things interesting. Then you get a few hours of total fakeout, where you think you’re getting better. That happened on Saturday afternoon and evening. And then, overnight, the cold migrates to your chest, turning into a bad cough and overall wheeziness and heaviness. The rundown feeling is replaced with an “I drank too much and then someone hit me in the head with a sledge hammer” sensation. In the meantime, your sneezes are in Technicolor.

I’ve managed to go running exactly twice during this time. The first run was on Saturday, when I thought I was getting better. That was a six miler at 9:30 pace, windy, with some stopping and walking. I tried again on Monday, another try at six miles. I forgot my watch, which is probably just as well.

I visited my doctor yesterday to confirm that I don’t have something bad brewing (like pneumonia). In the process I got an Rx for a hydrocodone-based cough syrup. I was warned that it’s habit forming and that I am not to take more than the recommended dose (1 teaspoon twice a day — it’s like the nitroglycerin of cough syrups), and then “wean myself off it it.” That won’t be hard. A half an hour after taking a teaspoon I am an idiot. Five minutes after that I’m out cold for three hours.

I am feeling better, finally, now, although I don’t trust it. But I’d better feel better by tomorrow because it’s going to be a big day! Jonathan goes in for something called “platelet rich plasma” therapy (otherwise known as “PRP”). His foot, in which he tore the fascia clean in half back in August, is not getting better, so this course of treatment was recommended. What they do is take some of his blood, extract the platelets, whirl them around for a bit and then reinject the substance back into his foot. He won’t be put under (or down, fortunately), but will be anesthetized into a state of “conscious sedation.” This means that he won’t be out cold, but he also won’t remember anything that happened. Kind of like when I take Ambien with a beer.

This has to be done in a facility rather than in Ortho 1′s office. I don’t know if it’s an actual hospital, but there are pieces of hospitalish equipment required, along with the services of an anesthesiologist. We’re bringing in our own boot and crutches, since this procedure is going to cost a significant amount and we may as well economize where we can. I was tempted to get an additional boot from the facility because a pair of them would help complete a really good Frankenstein costume.

He’ll be recovering for a few days. Then I think he can start running early next week and see if that fixes the problem. Edited: No, he can start non-impact cross-training in three days, then elliptical in 10. No running for a month — this was news.

The start of my cold coincided with my visit to The Nutritionist. I’ve been following her instructions, although, having done next to no exercise, I’m not expect a whole lot to happen. At least it’s been easy to stick to as I’ve had no appetite. Quitting drinking cold turkey was easy too, since I have no desire to drink when I’m sick.

Tomorrow I’ll also try to pick up my bib and chip for Sunday’s Ted Corbitt 15K, since we’ll be in the vicinity of NYRR’s offices. I had hoped to get up to at least a 10 mile run prior to this race, but this cold has thrown everything off. The longest run I’ve done since I started back roughly a month ago was eight miles. Unless I’m still ill or the weather is really bad, I’ll run it. Racing it seems a folly given the last four months of running crapitude.

What I may do is just spend the first few miles testing out my adductor on the hills. If it’s okay, I may try to “race” for a few miles just to see what speed I can get up to (and gather some heart rate data). Then either drop out or jog the rest. Yes, the stupid adductor still hurts. I did some reading up on osteitis pubis and see that for some people it can take 7-12 months to go away completely.

2011 has to be better for both of us. It just has to be.

There were some bright spots this week:

My blood pressure at the doctor’s was 112/70; resting pulse was 52 — so I have not lost fitness.

I am finally resuming work on Houston Hopefuls this weekend, with my first interview in two months. A third will follow in January. I’ve got two new Hopefuls joining up too.

I just got another assignment from Running Times, an article for their site, not print (“Web Exclusives”), about winter cross-training alternatives. That was as a direct result of the latest Khannouchi-based opus, even though it was rejected. I’m sure the print work also helped establish me as someone who isn’t a total flake. I also got a new lead on some corporate writing work for the new year to add to the irons I already have going there, from a “potential client” that I’d all but written off. I am feeling fairly confident that we won’t starve, at least not in the first quarter.

The resurfacing of our front walk is almost done and it’s looking really good. Our mason is a perfectionist. That was a nice surprise. But his guys had to stop working because of the sudden cold snap. Work resumes on Friday, probably. No word on when the new windows are going in.

Friday is our 20 year anniversary (of sorts; we’re not married, at least not that I know of). We, uh, “officially became a couple” 20 years ago. We’ll probably celebrate with some cough mixture and gimp boot dancing.

The American Master: Khalid Khannouchi’s Second Last Chance

It’s a Saturday morning in September and for the last hour I’ve been staring at the back of Khalid Khannouchi’s head. We’re being coached through a workout in the deep end of a 25m pool in Briarcliff, New York. Directing us is Sandra Khannouchi, Khalid’s coach, manager and wife of over 14 years. She’s in the water with us, but she stays out of our way as we circle round and round her in Lane 4. Sandra is timing us through a fartlek run that she’s designed with varying intervals of hard running broken up with one minute rests. These are arranged in what has emerged as a diabolical order. The work is extremely hard both physically and mentally, and at one point she’s made it harder by forgetting to notice the end of the interval. “It’s been three minutes!” we protest at 3:02, our heart rates and tempers soaring. “Okay, okay…” Sandra says with some sheepishness, looking up at the huge clock. “Sorry.”

Khalid is injured. I am injured. So here we are. When he’s running fast in the pool he reminds me of a wounded duck, pierced by a bullet and struggling madly to get away. I realize at one point that this must be how I look too. Although I’ve met Khalid a few times before this, I barely know him. It’s hard not to feel a little starstruck; I’m doing a workout with the fastest marathoner this country has ever produced. Yet we’re moving at the same speed, water being the great equalizer. Sandra leaves and we remain for a 10-minute cooldown of leisurely laps. Khalid and I pass like ships. At one point he offers, “That was a good workout.” I agree and then tell him that it’s good to know that I’m not the only runner Sandra is constantly screaming at to go faster, harder. He laughs, but then I mildly regret what I’ve just said, realizing that I’m talking about someone who is not just his coach, but also his wife. Yet later on Sandra tells me that Khalid wants me to come back and do more workouts with him in the pool, so we can share the work. She adds, good-naturedly, “and the screaming.”

I first met Khalid and Sandra in May, 2010 at the NYRR Healthy Kidney 10K press event, the day before the race in which Khalid would make a tentative, and very public, return to competitive running after an injury-induced layoff of nearly two and a half years. At the time I was struck by his affability and candor. At one point he’d even taken off a shoe to show us exactly where on his foot he’d had his most recent surgery. Sandra as coach came across as realistic about Khalid’s current situation, yet exuding a sense of utter confidence in his ability to make a comeback. She was also smart. Those qualities were enough for me to approach her for coaching help a month or so later on.

After that 10K race, I looked for Khalid and found him just outside the Media tent. He surprised me with a warm hug and a question –  “How was your race?” – before I could get a chance to ask him how his had gone. Khalid had finished in 21st place. But he was upbeat. To him, the race was a success, because it wasn’t intended to be a race at all. Central Park had instead served as proving ground: would his foot hold up post-surgery? It had, and, while his chip time was nothing to write home about, he called the run “something promising…something we can build on.”

Now, months later, I sometimes run into Khalid when we’re both working alone in the pool. Devoid of body fat, he sits low in the water despite a buoyancy vest. So low that his breath hits the surface and, amplified by the water, sounds like a steam engine. He is always, always working ridiculously hard. After he leaves I’m sometimes tempted to ask the lifeguards, “Do you have any idea who that guy was?”

A spectacular ascent, in spite of injuries

Unless you’ve been living under a rock since 1997, if you follow elite running then you know who Khalid Khannouchi is. Originally from Morocco, he moved to the States almost immediately after winning the 5000m at the 1993 World Student Games in Buffalo. He first settled in that city, living for several months in the home of a Buffalo doctor he’d befriended at the games, then moving south to Brooklyn with other members of the Moroccan running team after quickly realizing that cruel upstate winters aren’t conducive to good training.

The next year, he joined Warren Street Athletic and Social Club and became a rising star on the Tri-State racing scene, winning the NYRR Club Championships in 1994. That was also the year he met Sandra, an American originally from the Dominican Republic (and holder of the women’s marathon record for that country) at a road race in Hartford, CT. Sandra,10 years his senior, took over his coaching and management as she was winding down her own career as a professional runner. A contract with New Balance followed in 1995, enabling Khalid to finally focus full time on running. In 1996, the two married. From the very beginning, they shared a love of running – and a belief in Khalid’s potential to do great things.

Over the next six years, he would set world records, course records, and the standing American record in the marathon. It’s an impressive résumé: fastest debut marathon in history, four Chicago wins, three sub-2:06 marathons, one of which (London, 2002) is considered by many to be the greatest marathon competition in history. A phenomenal, seemingly unstoppable talent.

Yet there were cracks forming as early as 1999. That year began with a dropout at mile 16 in London, his left foot burning with a neuroma. But Khalid came back later that year to run a sub-1:01 at the Philadelphia Half, followed by a new world record in Chicago that would take four years (and Paul Tergat) to break.

A victory at the 2000 San Blas 10K in Puerto Rico was immediately followed by a ligament problem in his ankle. That led to a compensatory hamstring injury. His run for third place in London in 2000, a race Khalid ran only because of citizenship delays that put a bib for that year’s USA Olympic Trials in doubt, only exacerbated his injuries. Things got so bad that he ran no marathons in 2001, although he got lucky in 2002, when his injuries abated enough that he could train for and win two spectacular races: his 2:05:38 at London, as previously mentioned, followed by a 2:05:56 at Chicago, his fourth win there.

From there, it was all downhill, in the bad sense of the word. Three weeks after that Chicago 2002 race, Khalid’s battle with his own body began. The battle continues to this day.

The forgotten champion

Khalid eventually gained US citizenship later in 2000 and looked forward to trying again for an Olympic berth in four years. But he missed the 2004 Olympic Trials, again due to injury. In the fall of that year, he finished fifth in Chicago. 2005 was another year lost to injuries. 2006 featured a fourth place finish in London with a 2:07, but it was a time that was more than fast enough to qualify him for the 2008 Trials. 2006 also saw the first of several foot surgeries Khalid would undergo over the coming years. History repeated itself in 2007 when, with a neuroma in his right foot this time, he was again forced to drop out of the London Marathon midway through the race. The following few months included a string of disappointing races, or withdrawals from the elite field altogether, again due to injuries.

Things looked up in the summer of 2007, though. In a rare period of pain-free running, Khalid was at last able to train for a viable US Olympic Trials race that November. Perhaps the third time would be the charm. But his training was too little, too late; after making adjustments to his new orthotics he and Sandra had just nine weeks to prepare. Despite a heroic run, he nevertheless finished in fourth place. It’s a race he still has mixed feelings about. “It was a good experience. But, you know, it’s disappointing because I was very close to making the team. When you finish fourth, it feels really bad: fourth place. At the same time I was happy because I was able to run a marathon. So I thought, ‘Maybe I can train again. Maybe next year will be good. Better.’”

Through eight years of injuries, two missed US Olympic Trials races, one Trials fourth place and frequent trips across the globe for surgeries, therapies and treatments, Khalid has not given up on his dream of representing his adopted country on an Olympic Marathon team. This despite having declared 2008 the deadline for that dream, a deadline that he missed by just under a minute on the hills of Central Park. “Realistically,” he told the New York Daily News in 2007, just days before the Trials, “This is my last shot.”

Do a search on “Khalid Khannouchi” on LetsRun.com or other popular running sites and you’ll hardly see anything following his failed 2007 Olympic bid. One forum thread from the summer of 2009 is entitled “Is Khalid Khannouchi still running?” In many ways, Khalid’s situation mirrors that of Meb Keflezighi’s a few years ago: a once-stellar runner completely drops off the radar, hobbled by injuries, living under the encroaching shadow of advancing years. Lots of people wrote Meb off, but he made a stunning comeback in 2009 in New York and has not looked back. Khalid has cited Meb as an inspiration and role model. Good things can happen. But you have to keep the faith, and keep trying.

Riding the second wave of American running

When asked why American marathoners have slipped so far behind the Africans over the past two decades, and why no other American has broken 2:06, Khalid is emphatic. “We are improving! I think the attitudes of American runners now are totally different. They think they can compete, and win honors, titles and all that. They can go and run with Kenyans and Ethiopians. We saw Meb win New York City. We saw Dathan get a medal in the World Half Marathon. We see people breaking American records, which is good! So you cannot say that because nobody has broken my record that we are not improving.”

Khalid also points to the growing pool of potential champions, as reflected in participation in the Marathon Trials of 2008 vs. the mid-to-late 1980s. “If you look at the number of people competing in the US Trials in ’84 or ’88 [compared to] the numbers in 2008 or 2012, you’re going to see that maybe we’ve tripled the numbers. That’s how you know there are more people coming up. But,” he adds, “It’s going to take a lot of time. And, believe it or not, there are people who are out training a lot harder somewhere else,” with “somewhere else” being a euphemism for “Africa.”

The Africans are the runners to beat, and Khalid has beaten them in the past. With Americans now seemingly poised to truly take on the current world-beaters, Khalid wants to once more be among those leading the charge.

For the most part, Khalid’s American cohorts are anywhere from 5 to 20 years his junior. He’ll turn 40 in 2011. Can experience compensate for the unavoidable toll that time takes on a marathoner’s paces? For Khalid, that’s not the relevant question. “I think fresh legs are what really matter. I’ve not been running for almost a year. So I feel like I’m 35 or 34.”

Reaching the age of 40 could be significant for Khalid in several ways. For one, he’ll be competing as a master at that point. That presents even more opportunities – such as new records to break – to add to his list of achievements. The possibility of beating men decades younger than himself is an extraordinary one in its own right. But his new status as a masters runner doesn’t factor into how he thinks about his comeback. “To be honest, I don’t feel like a ‘master.’ You try to take care of business, get healthy and get back to training. I think if I can do that, I still believe I can compete. And if it comes as a master, I don’t mind it.”

So many dreams, so little time

Try for a moment to imagine how this feels: you are the best marathon runner in the world.  You get injured, but you work through it and can clearly see that when you’re not injured you can still be the best marathoner in the world. Then the injuries just keep on coming. This goes on for eight years. “It’s very difficult,” Khalid acknowledges. “But you have to believe. You be patient, go to the gym, swim a bit, run a little bit. We had good, solid training. It’s just that I couldn’t keep up the work because I had little problems again. So you’re trying to get back and, for some reason – I don’t know if it’s a curse? Maybe I’ve done enough already.” Glancing down, he explains, “My feet are banged up. That’s the problem. If you have a good car without good wheels, it’s like you have nothing. That’s basically the problem I’m facing right now.”

Khalid had a plan back in 2007: finish in the top three in the Trials, run for the US on the streets of Beijing – and perhaps pick up a medal there as a souvenir – and then retire from competitive running. That dream died hard in November of that year and then was all but forgotten as new injuries took hold. At that point it seemed that even being able to run at all was an achievement worthy of pursuit. “Last year I wasn’t able to run for 20 minutes,” he notes. “So I said, ‘You know what, let me have surgery. I know it’s painful, but let me do it because at least then I can run like everybody else.’”

But then something happened. What began as an effort to simply get well enough to be able to run for more than a few miles without pain turned into a rekindled fervor for making the Olympic team. “Then when I started running like everybody else,” he says, laughing, “I said, ‘You know what, I want to get back and compete!’ I never wanted to run after 40. But I’ve got this opportunity: to be in the Olympics. I had the world record. I won the best marathons. But I’ve never been in the Olympics and I want that on my résumé.”

As Khalid and Sandra have learned over and over again, it can be dangerous to make plans, as they have a nasty habit of going awry. Perhaps this is why they speak of goals with a certain fluidity, a reflection not so much of shifting priorities but of their capitulation to the mercurial whims of Khalid’s body. The immediate goal is to get him healthy enough to train again, and run some test races at shorter distances, while avoiding further injury. The longer-term goal is to make a competitive comeback in the marathon. Ideally, an Olympic bib would figure into that comeback. But both of them acknowledge that betting all their chips on the US Marathon Trials in January of 2012 is risky. So he will run when Sandra says it’s time to run.

“It’s month by month,” says Sandra. “You don’t know what can happen. If, for example, it’s October and he says, ‘I feel good. Now is when I really have to run a marathon. Now I’m in peak condition,’ as a coach, as an agent, I will say, ‘Let’s go to New York.’ Because you don’t know what’s going to happen later. If you say, ‘No, let me wait until January,’ then you can get hurt again or that peak is not there anymore.”

Yet so many opportunities

From one perspective, Khalid’s comeback might seem at best daunting and at worst Quixotic. But from another, the whole world of running lies at his feet.

While the 2012 London Olympics is the headliner, other opportunities are waiting in the wings to serve as understudies should timing dictate: a run in New York, long-desired but always thwarted by injuries; or a return to Chicago; or perhaps a master’s world record or American record, if it happens – although Khalid has never entered a race with the intention of setting a world record, but rather picking one up as a bonus when that’s what the race required on that particular day.

Khalid knows what he wants to happen. “If I had a choice between going to the Olympics and running New York, I’d go to the Olympics.” But if the timing isn’t right for the Trials? “I want to run New York. I wish I had that opportunity in my day because I felt I could win New York, no problems. Chicago is probably the city where I feel more comfortable. It has a special place in my heart, more than London, more than any other place. Chicago is by far the best. But now, because I’m from here, I would love to have an opportunity to run New York City. No question.”

If Khalid does make the US Olympic Marathon Team, it will be historic regardless of what he goes on to run in that Olympic race in London. Only two masters men have ever represented the US in an Olympic Marathon. The last time around was James Henigan in 1932. Then there are masters’ marathon records to consider. The American record is 2:12:47, set by Eddy Hellebuyck in 2003, although given Hellebuyck’s recent admission of heavy EPO use during that period it can hardly be considered legitimate. The world record of 2:08:46 was set that same year by Mexico’s Andres Espinosa. That time is well within striking range for a healthy Khalid Khannouchi.

But, ultimately, what he wants most is just to have a good marathon, an experience that at this point seems very far away indeed. “I haven’t been running marathons. My dream is to run another marathon. I don’t care where. On another planet? I’ll go there!”

It’s not so easy, making a comeback

One of Sandra’s favorite observations, oft repeated, is, “It’s not so easy, being an elite runner.” That sentiment applies to making a comeback as well. When you are a world-class runner it’s impossible to participate in a race and go unrecognized. But the recognition isn’t the problem – it’s the expectation. Everyone watching is expecting you to win, even if that’s not why you’re there. Khalid tried to choose his test races carefully, in venues that would minimize the pressure to perform. But he still had to cope with people’s perceptions and assumptions.

He felt the weight of expectation on him at the Healthy Kidney 10K in May, his first race in well over two years. “You know, I thought at first, ‘It’s going to be the race to start with; it’s no pressure.’ But when I got to the starting line, everybody’s hugging you. You do feel the pressure. I said, ‘What the heck am I doing here?’ Because people know you, they love you, they expect a lot from you. That’s when the pressure hits you.”

After Healthy Kidney, Khalid ran a few other test races, including Beach to Beacon, a race that he’d hoped would be lower key. “We have a good host family, our friends. I feel like I’m going on vacation there, not racing.” He’ll return to such races in 2011 when he does his next round of test runs. Then the plan is to go for a Trials qualifying time at the half marathon distance, with that race as yet to be determined.

A major comeback demands major changes

Going forward, Sandra and Khalid know that they have to take the hard lessons they’ve learned over the years and apply them to every area. The first priority is healing from and preventing injuries. When the third neuroma of his career emerged earlier this year, they knew what to do: apply medications through local injections, slice a tendon to reposition the problem toe, then make adjustments to his orthotics once again.

Then there’s his training. The mileage will go down while the quality of those miles goes up. Lower mileage means lower impact and reduced chances of injury. As Khalid put it, “Running, running, running is what’s going to get you there.” But not so much running that he’ll be stopped dead in his tracks along the way. High levels of cross-training, along with strengthening and balance work, will augment the miles. “These other things will help to have a faster comeback,” Sandra asserts.

A move to Colorado Springs will further facilitate a comeback by reconnecting Khalid with some of his key training partners on a more consistent basis. That move punctuates a major change in his personal life as well. After 14 years of marriage, Sandra and Khalid have decided to divorce amicably. They’ll continue to work as a professional team and, in fact, both feel that the decision to part ways as a couple will only better his chances of racing well again.

“We care for each other,” Khalid says. “But for both our happiness, this is better. We have some differences. Lately we don’t agree. Maybe it’s because of me because I’ve been through hard times, dealing with injuries, not racing, not running like I would wish. It just seems like there is no good communication like we used to have.” He holds up a blue coffee mug. “When we had all the success, it was clear: ‘This is blue.’ We didn’t have to argue about it. And now…”

Sandra is quick to emphasize, “I think if he wants to make a comeback, it’s better not to be husband and wife. I really want him to make a comeback because I know he can do it. I think [the divorce] will be better because I can then concentrate and really give energy to him.” She reflects for a moment or two. “You have to be happy. When you’re doing something you want to do, whether it’s professional or your personal life, you have to be happy. If you’re not happy, nothing’s going to grow. I know that this is going to be better for both of us.”

Despite the plans to end their marriage, there remains an easy affection, and even jocular bickering, neither of which seems in danger of going anywhere. At one point Sandra offers me some Moroccan bread she’s made, although she was engrossed enough in our conversation that she forgot to take it out of the oven in time. As a result, it’s slightly overdone.

I tell them it’s fine, but Khalid says, “Bring her something else.”

Sandra laughs and says, “There is nothing else. You ate everything!”

While he may not be running at the moment, Khalid still has the appetite of a marathoner in training. “I am like a snake,” he says mischievously, weaving an undulating hand in the air. “I go through the house, eating everything.”

The sleeping giant

With the Trials set for January, 2012, it would seem that a year is plenty of time for a runner at Khalid’s level to prepare. But when you’re used to being blindsided by injuries, looking at a calendar can create more anxiety than confidence. So much can go wrong in those twelve months.

While Sandra may have her eye on 2011, Khalid can’t afford to look that far ahead. “I don’t want to talk about next year,” he says with a mixture of worry and conviction. “I’m talking about next month, when I start running and see the feeling. Look, I want to hear that everything is fine and I can run. If I do, then we’re going to have a lot of fun. Running 10Ks, maybe for six months. Just try to get back.”

It’s been over three years since he’s run a race with confidence, and that was the last Trials marathon in 2007. That’s enough time to forget everything you know. “Before, I used to know what I should do before races: I knew the workouts I should do, what I should eat. And now I’ve lost it. I don’t even know what I used to do before.”

Khalid is consumed with getting beyond his injuries and returning to the lead pack, displaying a drive to excel that even a decade’s worth of setbacks hasn’t diminished. “I want people to know that I’m trying the best I can. I invest a lot of money going to doctors and all that, just trying to get better. Because I really want to compete. I will never give up, and I’ll try. It’s frustrating. Eight years of struggle. People who have had injuries will understand me. We still hope. There is hope. I have faith that if I’m healthy I will compete again.”

As we’re wrapping up our interview, three of Sandra’s four grandchildren (by her daughter from a previous marriage) are making their arrival. I watch Khalid leap up from his chair, dash over to the door and impishly hide behind it, with a finger pressed to his lips. The kids tumble in, the youngest, four, tearing off her coat and throwing it on the floor. Khalid sweeps it up and shoves one arm into the pink sleeve. He struggles to get his arm into the other sleeve, but even on his 5’5”, 125 lb. frame, this is an ambitious proposal. Giving up, he lets the jacket drape across one shoulder and, eyeing the kids, singsongs, “I’m going outside for a walk now…” He’s Gulliver in a frock, eliciting a chorus of Lilliputian giggles. A few minutes later, as I’m walking away up the street, I can still hear faint laughter coming from the window.

A few minutes with Molly Huddle

2010 was a great year for 5000 meter specialist Molly Huddle. In February she placed second in the USA Cross Country Championships behind Shalane Flanagan, then garnered another second place behind Lauren Fleshman at the USA Track and Field Championships in Des Moines in June.

Both could be considered breakout races, but the best was yet to come in Brussels in August. In that race Huddle squeaked just under Flanagan’s previous American record by less than half a second, running a 14:44.76. I caught up with the new outdoor 5K record holder when she was in New York for the Fifth Avenue Mile back in September. The soft-spoken Huddle made clear that, while she’s got her sights on the marathon eventually, she and her coach are taking an “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” approach to her status as a 5K competitor.

You’d mentioned earlier in the year that you wanted to run the 20K road championship in New Haven. But then you didn’t. How come?
My plan for the year, since there weren’t any World Championships on the track, was to just do a lot of those US road races and try a lot of the longer distances — New Haven would have been the longest race I’ve ever done — just as a way to look forward to the marathon and things beyond 2012. Just to see how I would handle it. But then I was over in Europe and I ran faster than I thought I would on the track. So I thought I would just stay over there, and was still there the day of the New Haven race.

Yes, it seems like you’re hitting your stride at the 5K, so was the feeling, “Why think of longer distances now?”
Yeah. The surest possible one I can stay at, I will.

Your coach didn’t believe that you could break Shalane Flanagan’s American record.
No. I didn’t either. No one really did. My workouts weren’t that great. If you were watching them, you would never think that. But he knows I race better than my workouts. He was saying, “Maybe if you get in the right race and have a little bit of luck on your side. If other aspects of the race are in your favor, you can get close to it.” But, yeah, I didn’t think I would either, honestly.

Shalane Flanagan is “Shalane Flanagan” — she’s an Olympic bronze medalist. Does that present a mental barrier at all?
Definitely. Even though I ran, like, four tenths of a second faster than she has, there’s still so much that she’s done that I haven’t come close to. The barrier is still there for me. But at least this has me having a little more confidence racing Shalane and everyone else who’s up there with her.

Do you see yourself as getting to a point where you’re competing against the likes of Dibaba and Defar?
I don’t know about competing against them. They probably have a better kick than Shalane in a race. I would probably go with them. But as far as trying for a medal, you never know. This year I’ve noticed the races getting even deeper. The race I ran the [American] record in, I was tenth. There were nine Kenyans ahead of me. So there are more and more women running from Kenya, and it’s just getting harder to medal. So, you never know. But the fact that I can make that comparison in my head — it’s not impossible: I ran this time and she ran this time. It’s something to kind of boost yourself.

Do you want to go after Shalane’s 10K record?
That’s a pretty fast record! I think that’s the type of thing where, in a championship race that goes out hard, you’re going to get it. There aren’t too many opportunities to run a 10K. They don’t have that many a year. So it would be hard to just call it out and go for it at Stanford or something. But if that ever happened, it would be at the Olympics or something, just running as fast as you can.

Over the course of this season did you experiment with different racing strategies?
Yes. When I was over there, it was kind of all for experience anyway. Whatever happens, happens. I just want to run fast. I was kind of more running my own races for certain time goals. It’s easy to get intimidated. “I don’t even know who this girl is, and she’s going to kick my butt. There’s four Africans that are going to beat me…” How do I know where I’m supposed to aim, for place? I just thought, “It’s my first time over. I’ll just run kind of passively and get dragged along, as close to 15 minutes [as possible],” because I wanted to break 15 minutes. So that’s what I did in Paris.

Then I realized that I actually do kind of have kick at the end at that pace. So I thought maybe I could run a little faster. But then in London it was kind of a tactical race, which I didn’t feel comfortable with. I still wanted to run fast, so I went with the rabbit and everyone else stayed back. But that didn’t work out well for me. By the end of the season I was like, “I just need to go with the flow of the race, sit in the pack comfortably, and then try to finish as high as I can placewise.” I actually ran faster doing that than I did when I was thinking about time.

Taking what you’ve learned over the summer, will you and your coach work on certain aspects of your racing?
Yeah, definitely. The year showed me that I do have a little bit of a kick, so we can work on making that better. Now it’s just about hanging on for the last 2K, to use the kick. We’ve tried different things.

Do you ever run in little tiny local road races?
Oh, yeah. In New England there’s one every other day of the week. I ran in a local 5K to get ready for the World Cross Country Championships this year, just drove half an hour and raced.

Do people recognize you?
Yeah, but usually from running with them. It’s a small running community, so we all train together. There are a couple of other Irish girls still around that I’ll see at the races, retired now, but still racing. Usually not like a fan or anything, though [laughs] — someone I know.

Is it strange or difficult to have to talk to the press before a race?
Yeah. Especially for me, because I’m not a good public speaker or interviewee. It’s not something that flows out of me. You feel like you always have to say the right thing. It’s hard, too, to say your goals out loud. It puts more pressure on yourself. I usually try not to get too specific with what I want to do before a race, like announcing it. For some people it works, but for me it’s just more pressure. This is kind of hard, though.

What’s the best thing about Providence? I liked the Newport Creamery when I was there.
Newport Creamery is good. Some good coffee shops. A lot of good Italian food. It’s kind of a hipster, artsy place. It’s a really young city, lots of colleges there. And it’s great that it has all those things. And I have a great training group there, which is good because the running is not so good. All that makes up for the lack of trails.

What’s the problem? Weather? Or terrain?
The weather’s good — there are lots of sunny days in Providence, actually. It’s the terrain. A lot of runners like the wide open trails, woods, forests. There’s just not room for that there. So we run on sidewalks, run through neighborhoods. But we have a good coach, a good group.

Things for you to read: what’s here and what’s on the way

I have a giant list of writing-related project to dos (plus some podcast prep stuff). But most of them are so daunting. I haven’t got it in me today. This fucking head cold is still here. It abated for a bit last night, but it’s back with a vengeance this morning. I spent three hours shouting over ambient noise at the NY Harriers holiday party, which probably didn’t help. But I met some nice people, and it was good to get out of the house after four days of cabin fever, so it was worth the trip in.

My head’s both everywhere and nowhere with this cold, but since I’m not up to a run or gym trip today, I feel like a sloth if I don’t do something productive with the time. So I’m tackling a few of the smaller writing projects.

First, there are several updates to the Houston Hopefuls site for anyone following along: one is an account of Tammy Lifka’s experiences with injury and his-and-hers blood clots; then there are the race reports from Jen Hitchings and Julie Wankowski from last weekend’s California International Marathon. My next interview will be with Lori Kingsley, a woman who went from being a slightly overweight, smoking non-runner to a national masters champion in just six years.

Second, I’ve made lots of updates to this blog’s Faves page. Some old favorites are still there, but I swapped in 75% new content. 75%! That’s massive! Go check it out.

Third, I’m working on an interview I’ve had lying around since September, with the recently crowned American 5K record holder Molly Huddle. I hope to at least get that transcribed today, if not posted. It’s up here: A few minutes with Molly Huddle

Fourth, I’ve finished work on a long feature article about Khalid Khannouchi, a follow-up to my article earlier this year about his comeback. I’m very proud of it. So much so that I’m trying to find a real publisher for it. But I don’t want to sit on it forever, so if those efforts don’t pan out then it should be posted up here sometime over the next few weeks.

And, finally, my second Running Times article appeared in print this week. It’s toward the back of the Jan/Feb issue and it’s entitled “The Racer’s Wish List.” The genesis of the article was a survey I did of race participants, which I then shared with one elite runner, one race management company owner, and four directors of races of varying sizes. I’ll put up a link to the online version when that appears in a month or so.

They say it’s spring

With apologies to Blossom Dearie.

The hunt is on for a spring marathon. Not just a “spring” marathon, but a marathon that takes place sometime between the dates of April 1 and May 1. Before that is too early and after that is not workable for reasons of familial commitments. So, okay, an April marathon. And not just any April marathon. It has to be within reasonable distance of my home (I’ll fly, but not across the country again), be located within the continental US, and not feature insanely unpredictable weather. And not be in danger of being cancelled or moved at the last minute (see also Olathe Marathon, shown below anyway) for weather or other reasons.

Here are my candidates along with the basic pros and cons based on doing research on MarathonGuide.com and Kayak.com. I know there are lots of other marathons listed for April on the MarathonGuide site, but I rejected many of them because they were at high altitude, or trail (meaning non-paved/technical/mountainous) races, or were just too far away from anything to get to easily. In the case of the Kentucky Derby Festival Marathon, a local Louisville runner whose opinion I respect said on Facebook, simply: “Total shit. Stay far away.” (Actually, she originally said, thanks to the wonders of auto-complete, “Tot shit,” but I knew what she meant.)

I’m not looking for the perfect race. But I am trying to avoid an expensive, arduous and time-consuming waking nightmare if at all possible.

Please don’t suggest anything in May or June, much as you’ll be tempted to! Those months are just not doable this year. The ones in bold are the races I’m favoring. Yeah. Two races.

Thoughts? Discuss among yourselves.

April 3
Covenant Health Knoxville Marathon
Knoxville, TN
Pros: small (500 people), fairly easy to fly to (although others are easier)
Cons: hilly, weather can be dreadfull (wind, rain)

April 9
State Farm Charlottesville Marathon
Charlottesville, VA
Pros: small (500 people), predictable weather, fairly easy to fly to
Cons: 1600 total climb, reports of bad on-course support

April 9
Garden Spot Village Marathon
New Holland, PA
Pros: very small (250 people), can drive there
Cons: two enormous PR-killing hills, don’t even trust April for weather in PA

April 10
GO! St. Louis Marathon
St. Louis, MO
Pros: larger/more established (2000 for the full), course is challenging but not horribly so
Cons: direct/quick flights, easy to get around

April 16
The OZ Marathon
Olathe, KS
Pros: small (300 people), flat, direct flights to Kansas City then just a half hour drive
Cons: got moved back a week in 2009 due to weather, lots of course issues: roads not closed, bikepath crowded, end of race clogged with half marathoners and walkers

April 17
Earth Day Marathon
Gambier, OH
Pros: small (400 people), fairly flat but for one hill
Cons: could be hot, can fly there but then need to drive for 1.5 hours

April 17
Glass City Marathon
Toledo, OH
Pros: small (500 people), flat, not terrible to get to (fly direct to Detroit, then drive an hour)
Cons: could be hot or windy (as it’s right on Lake Erie)

Okay, what have I missed?

Tonight on the NY Running Show: Wind panties and more!

Tonight at 7PM ET we’ll be discussing cold weather running. Sure, it’s not NY-based. But whatever. Join us!

Telegraph from a sick bed

HAVE A COLD STOP

THROAT ON FIRE BRAIN NOT WORKING STOP

I BLAME GYM GERMS STOP

RAN 8:40S MON AM BEFORE COLD HIT FELT GOOD STOP

NUTRITIONIST SAYS EAT MORE, EARLIER STOP

NO APPETITE NOW – SIGH STOP

BEHIND ON EVERYTHING STOP

MORE SOON STOP

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 38 other followers