It’s April. And that means insane geese.

I see a pattern. In early-to-mid April, the geese go mad.

First, there was this haiku from April 14, 2007:

Today on my run
A mad goose chased after me
Vermin with feathers

On April 27, 2008 I wrote this:

Sighted today:
Badass Goose Dad: I know it’s spring because the geese couples are beginning to show up with their little fluffball chick children. Which means Dad Goose goes batshit if you get with 10 yards of the family. I was chased by a hissing goose a year or two back, and it’s an image seared into my brain. Today I gave them wide berth and even had to employ the “make yourself look really big” trick (arms akimbo) to psyche out the goose. One time we were in a car and a goose charged the car!

Finally, this from a post of April 19, 2009. Incidentally, I find that reading this post makes me particularly sad, as it was written while I was at the height of fitness last year, mere days before I began my slow, steady descent into a months-long period of overtraining syndrome.

And today I had my first bonafide smackdown with a male goose. He came charging at me, hissing and tongue-wagging. I couldn’t find a stick in time (my usual defensive move, stick waving). So I threw my arms akimbo, ran straight at the goose and screamed, “Fuck off!” Goose reversed course and scurried away. Unfortunately, there were no witnesses to capture the moment for YouTube posterity.

I had my first encounter with an ornery goose this morning. It wasn’t even that bad. Just wait until the eggs have hatched. Fortunately, I have Photoshop.

3 Responses

  1. 1. Now I know what I’m doing with my crappy race photos in the future… and 2. How the heck are you 45? You look a decade younger, and I’m not just saying that to be nice. Do you have a special anti-aging martini recipe?

    • Thanks. Yeah, if the lights are low enough I’ll often get carded, which is becoming silly at this point. I guess I lucked out in the “youthful genes” department. Although the grey’s starting to come in, so I think the days of being carded will end soon.

      I suspect I’ll age like your typical heroin addict — look really good for a few decades, only to totally fall apart overnight and wake up one day resembling the Crypt Keeper.

      Nice poem on your site.

  2. [...] on my runs. Grackles, robins, crows, red-winged blackbirds, herons, swans, ducks and, of course, geese. What I don’t often see are birds’ nests. When I see them on the ground, I pick them up [...]

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