Introducing The Performinator

Have you been frustrated by your inability to accurately predict how you’ll do in your next marathon? Or even know if you’ll finish the damn thing?

Well, wonder no more! Now there’s The Performinator, the first online calculator that can answer that tough question: “Will I be like Happy Paula or Sad Paula next Sunday?”

Click on the image above to see a larger version.

Pretty exciting stuff, huh? If it actually worked, you’d see something like this. The reality, however, is more like this.

And that’s what makes the marathon so exciting and mysterious.

6 Responses

  1. Loved it!

  2. Hahaha! So true. And you’re right on with that last sentence. If we knew the results beforehand, it would be boring.

  3. Hah!! Hilarious.

  4. Plague of Locusts! Don’t you just hate it when that happens?

  5. Omg. Laughed ALOUD at your “fuck if I know.” Full of awesome.

  6. After looking at this I’m pretty sure I need a shirt that says “I drink the blood of my rivals for breakfast.”

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