Road tested: The biggest running bra in the universe

This one’s for the ladies.

(Or guys. If you’re really into reading about bras.)

I am always in search of the perfect running bra. What would the perfect bra feature?

Well, that’s easy:

  • The straps wouldn’t fall down during speedwork and races
  • The straps would be nice and wide over the shoulder (preferably padded)
  • It should be designed to prevent “under the boob chafing” — this is a real problem, and I have the scars to prove it.

I’ve found a bra that is close, but not perfect. But it is the biggest f***ing bra you’ve seen in your life. My boobs could probably survive nuclear or chemical attack in this thing. And it seats five comfortably.

It’s sold by one of my favorite women’s clothing retailers, Title 9 Sports, to whom I willingly give a significant portion of my income every year.

This bra is a solid B. Not the cup. The grade I give it. The design helps ensure that the straps stay on the shoulders where they belong. It does have nice wide (and padded) straps, and it fastens in front (which is handy). It also solves the dreaded chafing problem. Although using a heart rate monitor strap is challenging; you need to position it in place, then fasten the bra over the monitor. At least the HRM won’t slip down anymore and end up being a useless belt, ha ha.

My biggest complaint is what this bra does to my boobs in terms of appearance. Because of the design, which has a bit of padding shaped sort of like a quarter moon lying on its back and positioned under each boob, said boob is squashed upward. This has the effect of giving the wearer 1957-style boobs.

I don’t know. Maybe this retro look will take the women’s running community by storm, but I’m not entirely thrilled by it. I’m hoping the cups will relax a bit after a few wearings and washings. If they don’t, I’ll just have to go out there looking like Eve Arden.

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