Well, I guess there was always shit on television

I’ll admit it. I’m a Netflix addict. And sometimes, inbetween the high quality Kurasawa and Bergman fare, I need to watch some garbage. During those times, I look no further than 70s televisions shows on DVD.

This evening, I’m enjoying a few wholesome episodes of The Protectors, an early 70s show starring Robert Vaughn.

This show is, quite simply, awful. Episodes have no story — just random scenes, random characters. There’s no continuity from episode to episode. And the title sequence is a mess:

  • A shot of a bathrobed Vaughn in his bedroom with a blue (yes, blue) dog…
  • A car rolling over and crashing…
  • Vaughn cooking eggs…
  • An exploding bridge…
  • Vaughn and dog eating the eggs…
  • An ugly woman (The Contessa) lunging forth with a foil…

On the plus side, the theme song rocks, featuring a big horn section and a Tom Jones sound-alike. And the lyrics…oh, the lyrics…

In the avenues and alleyways
Where the soul of a man is easy to buy
Everybody’s wheeling, everybody’s stealing
All the low are living high
Every city’s got ‘em
Can’t we try and stop ‘em
Some of us are gonna try

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